Best DNA | Energize Performance

Misery Loves Company, But Company Doesn’t Love Misery

January 26, 2017 · by Bob Faw

Live Your Life On Purpose This Year

Many of us are already pages deep in never-to-be-fulfilled New Year’s resolutions—listing off myriad ways to improve ourselves in a variety of areas. My suggestion this year is to set just one goal for yourself. It is a simple yet important resolution that will make life much better. It can make your more fulfilled, and make you more interesting to be around too.

Let 2017 be the year that you let your Purpose guide you.

Positive Psychology has shown the value in having a purpose-driven life. Purpose is one of our major intrinsic motivators. According to Daniel Pink in his book Drive, it’s these three motivators—Purpose, Autonomy, and Mastery—that enable people to feel passionate about their lives, going above and beyond regularly.

To uncover your purpose, consider what fulfills you. What drives you to do good in the world? Then reflect on how you spend your time: What is the purpose of your organization? What is the purpose of your team? Then line these things up.

It’s OK if you can’t line them up perfectly. Not everyone can start a non-profit. Good thing there are countless ways to fulfill your purpose. The world needs people whose purpose is fulfilled through creating all kinds of goods, services and entertainment. And if you can increase the amount you live your purpose by just 5%, your life will be more meaningful!

One of the things I find purpose in is helping people with the way they look at the world and the way they view themselves. Thankfully, I get to live my purpose as a career. But I also spend extra time doing things that I’m not compensated for, such as writing, creating videos, and mentoring young people.

Recently I met a young man on the subway. Here was this tall, good-looking guy who at first glance looked privileged. But upon further examination, he was missing his shoelaces and pretty scattered. He didn’t have enough money for the train, so I bought him a ticket and asked him what was going on. As I learned more about his story, I discovered that this young man had had an abusive childhood that had led to arrests and a general distrust of authority. I could empathize. I told him that I had experienced a lot of violence as a child as well. I had once felt the way he felt, but that I had changed my thinking through the support of mentors, and that today I was an author, speaker and trainer. He asked the name of my book, and seemed to be energized by our conversation and the possibilities. I noticed that others on the train who were eavesdropping on our conversation seemed to be energized as well, as some were smiling at me as I got off the train.

Because I connect with people relatively easily, my wife and friends like to ask me who I befriended that day or what my stories were. When you live a purpose-driven life, it makes for great stories!

People get tired of hearing others vent about their job and about things they don’t like about their lives. Misery does love company, but company doesn’t like misery. If you want to be an inspiration to people talk more about your passion and your purpose. It’s not just the big things that you do; it’s all the little things you do that create a purpose-driven life.

Here are a couple ideas for finding your Purpose:

Complete the Best DNA instrument (for free!). It’s a great way to quickly clarify your passions and your purpose into a practical motto. If you’ve got 90 minutes and want life to be better, use this coupon code “CompanyDoesn’tLikeMisery” by the end of February.

Or Track it. Set a daily reminder to write down, “What did I get pleasantly lost in today?” Essentially that activity that you enjoyed doing, during which time didn’t matter, and afterwards you could have spent more time doing it. It could be tackling an interesting problem at your job or helping somebody with an issue. Or maybe working on some cool form of creative expression.

Note these activities for a couple of weeks, and then look for commonalities and discuss them with a friend. Many people are surprised at the things that come up again and again. The best ways to find out how to make life better are usually by looking at what is good already.

As a bonus, there is brain science showing that when you make a habit of looking for the things that are fulfilling in your life, you will not only find them you but you will also savor them!

And for more on savoring, check out this Highlights activity!

So, do you want more fun and self-esteem in your life? Live life on purpose!

Hate Your Job? Your Purpose Can Be Your Inspiration

August 9, 2016 · by Bob Faw

We’re all familiar with the archetypal midlife crisis that involves a sports car, some new clothes and maybe even a younger love interest. The truth is that the vast majority of midlife changes are not superficial, but instead are driven by people looking for more meaning in their lives.

Some people are lucky enough to find careers that fulfill their purpose early on, but for most people finding that dream job is usually through trial and error. People make transformations simply because they are looking for a deeper sense of purpose: the stock broker who opens a bakery, the executive who sells everything and moves to Asia, the wealthy entrepreneur who gives his money to charity.

For example Bill Gates, who at times has been the wealthiest person on the planet, has shifted his focus over the last several years to doing things that drive his core purpose of improving the quality of life for people around the world. He has done this through his foundation’s efforts to improve education, vaccinations and health, and agricultural development across the globe.

Two people I’ve had the pleasure to meet who live their Core Purpose are Dick and Barbara Couch, the owners of a company called Hypertherm. Their Purpose is serving the greater good of their employees and their town. Hypertherm has a no-layoff policy. Instead they have created a war chest, so that when the economy dips, they cross train employees instead of laying them off. It’s the most amazing thing. The Couches even held tight to their Purpose as they were transitioning toward retirement. As a privately held company, they could have sold the business and made well over $1 billion. But they knew that if they sold, American plants would be closed and jobs shipped oversees.

Instead they gradually sold their company, piece by piece to their employees at a bargain price, so it is now 100% employee owned. When I asked Barbara why she would sell her company that way when she could have had an extravagant retirement, she looked at me like I was crazy. She said, “I love my town. How could I look anybody in the eye if I sold out their company?” Their Purpose was clear. They can retire as fulfilled and happy millionaires.

We live in a culture where we are rewarded with the superficial by the superficial. Many people are taught that their purpose in life is outside of themselves, and because of this many people let popular opinion dictate what they should do, feel, want, or even say. Well-being research shows that most powerful way to live is in balance: being true to yourself while also contributing to the world.

This brings us to Core Purpose, which is what you feel you exist to do. It is a single phrase that defines what gives your life meaning. It comes from within, and it is not about what others expect you to do. Somewhere inside, you feel drawn to expressing certain strengths, or achieving certain outcomes. THAT’s your purpose.

Life is more meaningful when many of your hobbies, career responsibilities, and other life decisions align with your Core Purpose. Your purpose becomes your inspiration!

So let’s get to the Core Purpose Brainstorm!

If you’ve completed the Principles and Strengths brainstorms, start by mining those ideas to see what strikes you as your Purpose. (In fact, if you haven’t yet completed the Passion, Strengths, Value Add, and Principles brainstorms, you may want to take a few minutes to check them out.)

Select words or phrases from the list below that deeply resonate with you. Add new words or phrases if they express your purpose better. Don’t worry about how precise or accurate this is. Don’t over analyze; just choose what attracts you. You might even see a pattern here.

Now choose the top words and phrases that represent your Core Purpose. Go through the list and pick your top 3-10. Think quickly. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here.
Once you have compiled your phrases, use them to come up with a draft purpose statements of a few words up to a couple of sentences. Often a purpose statement will start with a verb, something you feel motivated to do. (A purpose statement does not have to be fancy, altruistic, or self-explanatory to be an inspiration to you.)

Prioritizing them like this also gives you clarity about which parts of your DNA are your BEST DNA. When you take a look at these statements, everything should generate an image in your mind of the best of who you are, and who you can become more of.

Stay tuned next month, when we work on Best DNA Mottos!

Until then, check out BestDNA.com if you’d like to be guided through discovering your Best DNA and learn how to live into the best of who you are. Use the coupon code “purpose” for 50% off in August.

To Laugh or Not to Laugh :: Is there even a question?

July 11, 2016 · by Bob Faw

People Hands Holding Red Straight Word Principles

Uncovering Your Core Principles

Several years ago, I interviewed for a large strategic planning contract with a Fortune 100 company. I had a preliminary meeting with the steering committee that went great—I made them laugh throughout the meeting, and by the end we were carrying on like old friends. As I was walking out the door, they gave me one piece of advice. They told me that when I did my demo with the team the next day I should not use humor. My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Me, Bob Faw, not use humor? Did I hear that right? I struggled to mask how stunned I was by this request. I explained to them the brain science behind the use of humor and how it helps people relax and be more productive, but they held fast—no jokes for the big guys.

That night I had a conundrum to work through. Would I stay true to my style or would I adapt their style to get this project? If I had won that contract, it could have doubled my income that year. But I had to decide if I wanted to spend that much time violating my core principles. In the end, I decided to be me. I did my demo to a room full of laughter and interaction, and … I did not get the project.

(Ironically the VP of HR pulled me into her office afterward and wanted me to do conflict management with her senior team. So humor is good for conflict but not for strategic planning? But that’s a story for another time …)

To be honest, I have never regretted that decision. I would much rather spend my time working with people who line up with my principles. It’s much easier to be your best authentic self when you feel like you’re living true to the best of you.

Just because something looks like “the life” from the outside doesn’t mean that it’s a really a good life. Trying to force yourself into a situation that doesn’t align with who you are hurts you on the inside and can lead to so many negative things over time. Take rock stars and movie stars for example. They are usually not the happiest people in the world, despite having plenty of money and adoring fans around them. This is because many are constantly trying to be what other people want them to be.

And this leads us right into the next email in the Best DNA series: Principles.

Principles are guidelines that help you make good career and life decisions. The goal here is to uncover the Core Principles that you just cannot live without. These are part of your identity: they shape your thinking and how you express yourself in the world.

Principles are usually qualities. For example, freedom, learning, growth, honesty, health, charity, etc. My own core principles are “learn, grow, and have fun.” They help guide me in determining the jobs and volunteer roles I take on, and even the kind of people I like to hang out with.

When you are conscious of these Principles, you hate violating them. And when you do violate them, it’s uncomfortable, or even devastating. That itself is a great indicator of what might be getting in the way of your fulfillment. One thing is for sure: If you violate your core principles for long enough, you will eventually burn out.

On the other hand, when you stay true to these principles you will feel a sense of integrity, higher self esteem, peace of mind, and more enjoyment in your career and life. Don’t get me wrong, survival and taking care of your family may force us to sometimes take work that violates our principles. However, whenever you have the choice, use these as your guide.

After doing this activity, I have seen many people have an “ah-ha” moment where they suddenly pinpoint the exact reason behind not liking a job, or why they end up arguing with that one person every time they speak, or why some groups feel so right to be part of.

So try it out!

Principles Brainstorm

Choose 7-9 Principles you value from the list below. You can also choose principles that are not on the list, or adapt any of these to fit you better.

Bobs word chart

Go through the list and pick your top 3 Core Principles that you want more of in your life. Think quickly. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here.
Finally, rank these 3 in order so you have a crystal clear sense of what your top priorities are.

(Why do we choose only our top 3? Because 3 is a magic number that makes it easy for your brain to remember. And the components of your Best DNA can only guide you if you remember them!)

Now you should have 3 words that give you both clarity and motivation. Everything here is meant to generate an image in your mind of the best of who you are, and who you can become more of—Your Best DNA!

Stay tuned next month as we explore Purpose! Until then, I would love to hear your feedback on Principles. Just comment below. And don’t forget to connect with me on social media!

If you have missed them, over the past few months we’ve completed the Passion Brainstorm, the Strengths Brainstorm, and the Value Add Brainstorm, which are all worth taking a few minutes to complete as you work toward discovering your Best DNA.

Check out BestDNA.com if you’d like to be guided through discovering your Best DNA and learn how to live into the best of who you are. Use the coupon code “principles” by the end of July for 50% off.

Discover Your Value! And be true to the best of you.

May 12, 2016 · by Bob Faw

Do you know the value you add? Really, do you? When you know the value you bring to the table, you can focus on making the most important contribution possible.

I call this your “Value Add.” This is how you best add value to projects, people, teams, systems, your family, and more. These are your contributions that people find valuable, admirable, and maybe even praiseworthy. Your Value Add is what you do that makes the most difference to others.

And it’s the next step in the Best DNA Series. We’ve worked our way through the Passion Brainstorm and the Strengths Brainstorm, which are both worth taking a few minutes to complete, if you haven’t already.

Some people tell you to “live your passion,” or “live your dream.” While other people say that the most important thing in life is to be useful. I say that both are right—bring them together! The best of value add is when you’re contributing to the world and enjoying yourself too. It doesn’t have to be just one or the other.

Ours lives are most meaningful when we contribute to other people’s lives. (Put on your lifejacket; it’s about to get deep.) And the more effective and helpful your contribution, the more meaningful your life will be! (Mic drop! Bob Faw exit stage left.)

But seriously, when your contributions align with your passions and strengths, you will also feel more fulfillment in your career and life. You may even figure out that you want to take on a different career path or hobbies that provide you with more opportunities to add value in a way that suits your passionate strengths.

When I do Best DNA with my clients, I do a fun teambuilding activity around Value Add. Try this in your life. I have each person on the team write down on index cards a way that each of his or her coworkers adds value and helps him or her do their job well. This can be a soft or hard skill, such as “Creates stellar presentations,” or “Helps calm people down.”

Then they give these cards to each other. It’s a bit like Valentine’s Day! When people review their cards, they usually see a lot of overlap and very quickly get a sense of their Value Add. Not only does this help you to see exactly what others value in you, but it also illuminates the needs of others on your team. Plus, when you help others see their value, you start to recognize what others add to your life instead of taking them and their actions for granted.

Value Adds are usually specific tasks, results, or behaviors that you bring to the table that make a difference or help others to achieve their goals. Value Adds can be tasks that you do, or they can be the WAYS that you do it. For example, many people can give useful advice, but maybe you are that one friend who many turn to when they need advice with emotional support.

Exchanging Value Add feedback can also be wonderful for couples and families. With our families we generally have so little time and so much to do. If you can focus on the activities that matter the most, time with your family will be more meaningful. For example, one of the things my wife really loves is when I cook her breakfast. It’s not a strength nor a passion of mine, but it is so easy to do. Plus, it has a great return on effort!

You may see that many of these Value Adds are different ways of describing your strengths. That’s common. If they aren’t, that’s OK too. The purpose is to receive more clarity on how we see ourselves versus how others see us.

Value Add Brainstorm

To discover your Value Add, try asking yourself the following questions.

Why were you hired/promoted?
Why do people ask you for help?
What actions do you do that bring good effects to your family and to your social networks?
What important roles do you play at work or in other organizations?
What do you tend to be praised for, asked for, etc.?
What activities make the most difference to your coworkers?
How do your personality strengths make a difference for others?

Now choose your top five Value-Adds from your list. Choose the ones that either you really enjoy doing and/or add the most value to others. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here. If it’s both that’s the best, but sometimes you have a mix. Then rank these in order to give you a crystal-clear sense of what your top priorities are.

Prioritizing them like this also gives you clarity about which parts of your DNA are your BEST DNA. When you do, it will give you a laser focus and make it easier to make choices that make you more fulfilled and successful! You can spend more time doing the things that matter most, and do them well.

Next month we will continue with Best BNA as we explore and discover your Principles. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your Value Add discoveries. Simply comment below. And connect with me on social media to get more great tips and ideas.

Visit BestDNA.com if you’d like to be guided through discovering your Best DNA and how you can live more into the best of who you are. If you use the coupon code “valueadd” you can do it for 50% off by the end of May.

It’s Not Bragging If It’s True — Embrace Your Strengths!

April 5, 2016 · by Bob Faw

Think of the top masters in your field. Those credible role models people turn to for insights. They have spent a tremendous amount of time building those strengths you admire. Do you want to be more like them?

Welcome to the third installment in the Best DNA Series! You are on your way to discovering the best of yourself that the world values. Last month we completed a Passion Brainstorm. If you haven’t already completed that brainstorm, it is worth taking a few minutes to check out. It can be helpful in this month’s activity—the Strengths Brainstorm.

These two brainstorms are really at the core of discovering your Best DNA because Passion and Strengths are what you do well and are motivated to do.

So why are we focusing on strengths?

There is ample evidence that suggests we can improve our performance more quickly when we focus on our strengths more than our weaknesses. World-renowned business guru Peter Drucker said it the best: “One should waste as little effort as possible on improving the areas of low competence. It takes far more energy and work to move from incompetence to mediocrity than to move from first rate performance to excellence.” Obviously we have to be good enough at compensating for weaknesses, but strengths are where it’s at!

Identifying strengths can often be a challenge. We are conditioned to believe that we are bragging if we say we’re good at something. But this brainstorm helps you recognize strengths as a factual inventory instead.

Like a lot of people, I have been afraid of saying what I am good at because I didn’t want to be thought of as egotistical. For example, one of my strengths is public speaking. Early in my career, I found that I really enjoyed working with large groups, but I didn’t see myself as a presenter or speaker back then. I just saw myself as a team-building guy. It wasn’t until I got into improv comedy that I saw speaking as a real strength instead of just something I liked to do. My comedy and public speaking mentor helped me develop my skills, and over time people started calling me a motivational speaker and a keynoter. I just wish I had the Best DNA tool at that time because I would have started improving it sooner!

For this Strengths Brainstorm, you are going to come up with as many ideas as you can around your strengths. First, a few guidelines to help you define strengths:

You tend to do these things more easily than many others can.
You are enjoyably motivated to do them.
Time passes quickly when you are doing them.
You tend to seek opportunities to do them.

A strength can be an activity, or a behavior or a skill that makes you stand out while performing that activity. For example, if “Blogging” is a passion of yours. Your strengths under blogging could be “Writing” or “Editing blog posts” or “Designing a blog” and so on. Also consider specific skills or outcomes that people frequently compliment you on. (E.g. “You always inspire me.” or “I’m amazed at how easily you organize complex projects.”)

Hearing our strengths from others is one of the most uplifting activities during my Best DNA Teambuilding Programs. As you can imagine that it is also a big morale booster as well to hear our strengths!

Strengths Brainstorm

Brainstorm a list of 3-10 Passionate Strengths. Consider both strengths from work and from other areas of your life (hobbies, volunteer activities, fun stuff you do for your family, etc.).
Then circle the ones that you are the most passionate about, that you look forward to doing, and tend to want to improve naturally.
Then choose the top 3 strengths that you want to use more and more. Think quickly. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here.

Give the gift of strength awareness to others! Encourage others to discover their strengths and build on them. Recognizing and respecting others’ strengths can also help you build a successful team/family. Where can you play to others’ strengths to make you both more successful?

Once I understood about natural strengths, I started to hire people who had strengths in areas where I was weak. It improved my business—and I learn from them! I once had a warm and caring colleague who was so appreciative and supportive that everybody loved working for her. I wanted to know her secret. I once followed her around to observe what she was doing. She asked a simple question that I had never thought to ask: “How can I help you?” As simple as that question was, it was mind-blowing to me with my more directive style. People just opened up to her. They felt more supported and did a better job because of it. I was much more successful with her on my team playing to that strength.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the Strengths Brainstorm—and learned a lot more about yourself in the process. Next month we will talk about Value Add!

In the meantime, I’d love to hear about your thoughts and experiences with this brainstorm. Feel free to comment below or connect with me on social media.

Culture eats strategy for breakfast!

May 20, 2014 · by Bob Faw

I enjoyed being interviewed on the Terri Levin Show about how to make sure that the strategy of your company syncs with your culture. I refer to Best DNA and how being clear about your company’s Best DNA helps you create strategy and culture that support each other.

Laughing at My Nightmare

November 15, 2013 · by Bob Faw

This young man epitomizes keeping a positive attitude, even in the middle of a living nightmare. It also shows the power of loving family and friends.

He is truly living into his Best DNA, and inspiration to us all.

A happy sense of purpose is good for our genes — who knew?

August 25, 2013 · by Bob Faw

I love those wonderful discoveries that show how doing what we love is good for us physically.

Click on The New York Times to read this fascinating, and heartening article.

This is particularly exciting for living into what we call our “Best DNA“.

Interview about being the CEO of your Life

September 20, 2012 · by Bob Faw

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the Cosmic Coaching Centre in Toronto. For those interested, here’s the recording.

Click on the flying man for the interview.

Make your life soar

Best DNA: Be more of the best of who you are

May 6, 2010 · by Bob Faw

We can’t actually be anything we want. I’ll never be an astronaut because I get dizzy and claustrophobic. Instead I’ll put my energy into being the best of who I am. It feels completely natural and exciting for me to stand in front crowds of people helping them learn, making them laugh, helping them connecting to each other in positive ways. I love who I am in that moment — I love being me. So I “amp up” these qualities of mine and be the best of who I am whenever I can. It makes life so much richer.

Each of us have native strengths and passions that when we use them fully make us feel wonderfully alive. When we find the strengths and passions that also help us make a living we are on a path of fulfillment, achievement and increasing power.

1) What are your strengths and passions?

2) What do you do that makes you feel fully alive?

3) How can you “amp up” those strengths in your life to be even more fulfilled, successful and vibrant?

4) What are people willing to reward you for doing?

Find out what lies at the intersection of all three of these areas. That’s your Best DNA for work, or for volunteer work, or whatever area you want the rewards in.

How would you answer these questions for your employees … spouse … children?

If you want help answering the strengths questions, the book “Go Put Your Strengths to Work” and other works by Marcus Buckingham can be very helpful. (note: The author has absolutely no connection to Buckingham, only respect for his work.)

Later in 2012 Matchbox Group (matchboxgroup.com) will be putting out a self-assessment process for discovering your own Best DNA, along with tips on what to do to enhance that and make your life more successful and fulfilling.

Energize Performance

Browsing Category Best DNA

Misery Loves Company, But Company Doesn’t Love Misery

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Hate Your Job? Your Purpose Can Be Your Inspiration

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To Laugh or Not to Laugh :: Is there even a question?

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Discover Your Value! And be true to the best of you.

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It’s Not Bragging If It’s True — Embrace Your Strengths!

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Culture eats strategy for breakfast!

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Laughing at My Nightmare

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A happy sense of purpose is good for our genes — who knew?

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Interview about being the CEO of your Life

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Best DNA: Be more of the best of who you are

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