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Browsing Category positive psychology
Enjoy Vacations more with “FABLES”
Savoring the memory of a vacation can be as good as the vacation itself, sometimes better. There is a fascinating article describing how even anticipating a vacation can give one joy.
I met a wise young man recently that created a delightful, and (I think) scientifically sound method for helping people enjoyably savor their vacations even better–while still on them. I begged him to let me share his creation.
This graphic was created by Greg Sullivan of Sullivan Gang Graphics.
Sullivan Gang Graphics115 S Handley St Wichita, KS 67213Phone: 316-262-6242
Bowl a Strike – The secrets to learning a new skill quickly and confidently
A number of motivational psychologists have asked the same question: “Which gives better results: focusing on positives or negatives?” (Another questions they ask is “Why do people enjoy bowling?” – just kidding.)
Four researchers at the University of Wisconsin decided to find out (about focus that is). They used one of America’s most popular adult sports, bowling, to do the research. The experiment involved monitoring the scores of low-skilled bowlers in four leagues over a few months, and two leagues showed something startling. One league had been asked to track only what they did right and focus on doing those things more; another league had been asked to track only the mistakes and focus on avoiding those errors in the future. While both teams improved, the team tracking what they did right had 100 percent greater improvement than the team that was tracking its mistakes!
The researchers go on to say that when people are new at skills lots of positive feedback and ideas are the most helpful. Once someone has mastered a skill set a higher ratio of negative feedback is more helpful for improvement. In other words, keep newbies focused on how to do the skill. Distracting with too much negative takes them off course and can diminish important confidence-building.
The bottom-line is that focusing on both positives and negative are important. Both prime people. But prime well, so that they are clear about what how to do the skill well, and they motivated to keep improving. This calms the caveman and energizes the artist.
Whoop it up! Celebrate the positives. At first, only point out negatives that will make a big deal if not fixed. Then quickly get back to what is working, and what is best to do next.
Go bowl nonstop strikes!
Research Note: Kirschenbaum, D. S., A. M. Ordman, A. J. Tomarken, and R. Holtzbauer.
“Effects of Differential Self-monitoring and Level of Mastery on Sports Performance: Brain Power Bowling.” Cognitive Therapy and Research 6, no. 3 (1982): 335–42.
Be Wise: Balance Optimism with Critical Thinking
“Hope without critical thinking leads to naïveté and critical thinking without hope leads to cynicism. To survive, we need both.” Maria Popova
“if you combine those two mental qualities [you achieve] wisdom… The absence of both gets you apathy.” Coert’s Visser 
These wise insights capture beautifully what I often teach. What gives us the most power and insight is the right blend of optimism while facing the hard truths as well.
The research by Barbara Fredrickson on the ideal balance of positive to negative communication also supports this. There are no easy answers or beliefs that we can use to make all decisions. We need to take each situation face the hard truth of that situation, then switch a solution focus for ideas. The right balance makes us far better decision makers (and more credible as well).
Popova profoundly states, “Yes, people sometimes do horrible things, and we can speculate about why they do them until we run out of words and sanity. But evil only prevails when we mistake it for the norm. There is so much goodness in the world — all we have to do is remind one another of it, show up for it, and refuse to leave.”
Help your family (or team) become more positive and confident
Would you like to raise your optimism level (and still be grounded in reality)?
Would you like your children to really know how good life is for them? To have greater confidence, self-esteem, and more resilient in the face of life’s many challenges?
Would you like your team to be more positive, creative and focused on solutions (not just the problems)?
I created this activity, inspired by research in Positive Psychology, 7 years ago. It’s made my relationships more positive. I’ve heard from many people who’ve attended my speeches that they’ve transformed their family dynamics with this simple, fun activity.
The key is to do it daily when you can. It gradually creates the habits of looking for what’s good in your life, what you’re good at, what you love, and even confidence for the future. It helps rebalance for the natural negativity bias. It helps us get our ACT together as well.
This description comes from our Leadership University program. Use it to make your life happier and more productive.
Please come tell me how it’s working for you. Feel free to ask questions about it too.
