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Browsing Tags Purpose

Misery Loves Company, But Company Doesn’t Love Misery

January 26, 2017 · by Bob Faw

Live Your Life On Purpose This Year

Many of us are already pages deep in never-to-be-fulfilled New Year’s resolutions—listing off myriad ways to improve ourselves in a variety of areas. My suggestion this year is to set just one goal for yourself. It is a simple yet important resolution that will make life much better.  It can make your more fulfilled, and make you more interesting to be around too.

Let 2017 be the year that you let your Purpose guide you.

Positive Psychology has shown the value in having a purpose-driven life. Purpose is one of our major intrinsic motivators. According to Daniel Pink in his book Drive, it’s these three motivators—Purpose, Autonomy, and Mastery—that enable people to feel passionate about their lives, going above and beyond regularly.

To uncover your purpose, consider what fulfills you. What drives you to do good in the world? Then reflect on how you spend your time: What is the purpose of your organization? What is the purpose of your team? Then line these things up.

It’s OK if you can’t line them up perfectly. Not everyone can start a non-profit. Good thing there are countless ways to fulfill your purpose. The world needs people whose purpose is fulfilled through creating all kinds of goods, services and entertainment. And if you can increase the amount you live your purpose by just 5%, your life will be more meaningful!

One of the things I find purpose in is helping people with the way they look at the world and the way they view themselves. Thankfully, I get to live my purpose as a career. But I also spend extra time doing things that I’m not compensated for, such as writing, creating videos, and mentoring young people.

Recently I met a young man on the subway. Here was this tall, good-looking guy who at first glance looked privileged. But upon further examination, he was missing his shoelaces and pretty scattered. He didn’t have enough money for the train, so I bought him a ticket and asked him what was going on. As I learned more about his story, I discovered that this young man had had an abusive childhood that had led to arrests and a general distrust of authority. I could empathize. I told him that I had experienced a lot of violence as a child as well. I had once felt the way he felt, but that I had changed my thinking through the support of mentors, and that today I was an author, speaker and trainer. He asked the name of my book, and seemed to be energized by our conversation and the possibilities. I noticed that others on the train who were eavesdropping on our conversation seemed to be energized as well, as some were smiling at me as I got off the train.

Because I connect with people relatively easily, my wife and friends like to ask me who I befriended that day or what my stories were. When you live a purpose-driven life, it makes for great stories!

People get tired of hearing others vent about their job and about things they don’t like about their lives. Misery does love company, but company doesn’t like misery. If you want to be an inspiration to people talk more about your passion and your purpose. It’s not just the big things that you do; it’s all the little things you do that create a purpose-driven life.

Here are a couple ideas for finding your Purpose:

Complete the Best DNA instrument (for free!). It’s a great way to quickly clarify your passions and your purpose into a practical motto. If you’ve got 90 minutes and want life to be better, use this coupon code “CompanyDoesn’tLikeMisery” by the end of February.

Or Track it. Set a daily reminder to write down, “What did I get pleasantly lost in today?” Essentially that activity that you enjoyed doing, during which time didn’t matter, and afterwards you could have spent more time doing it. It could be tackling an interesting problem at your job or helping somebody with an issue. Or maybe working on some cool form of creative expression.

Note these activities for a couple of weeks, and then look for commonalities and discuss them with a friend. Many people are surprised at the things that come up again and again. The best ways to find out how to make life better are usually by looking at what is good already.

As a bonus, there is brain science showing that when you make a habit of looking for the things that are fulfilling in your life, you will not only find them you but you will also savor them!

And for more on savoring, check out this Highlights activity!

So, do you want more fun and self-esteem in your life? Live life on purpose!

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Hate Your Job? Your Purpose Can Be Your Inspiration

August 9, 2016 · by Bob Faw

We’re all familiar with the archetypal midlife crisis that involves a sports car, some new clothes and maybe even a younger love interest. The truth is that the vast majority of midlife changes are not superficial, but instead are driven by people looking for more meaning in their lives.

Some people are lucky enough to find careers that fulfill their purpose early on, but for most people finding that dream job is usually through trial and error. People make transformations simply because they are looking for a deeper sense of purpose: the stock broker who opens a bakery, the executive who sells everything and moves to Asia, the wealthy entrepreneur who gives his money to charity.

For example Bill Gates, who at times has been the wealthiest person on the planet, has shifted his focus over the last several years to doing things that drive his core purpose of improving the quality of life for people around the world. He has done this through his foundation’s efforts to improve education, vaccinations and health, and agricultural development across the globe.

Two people I’ve had the pleasure to meet who live their Core Purpose are Dick and Barbara Couch, the owners of a company called Hypertherm. Their Purpose is serving the greater good of their employees and their town. Hypertherm has a no-layoff policy. Instead they have created a war chest, so that when the economy dips, they cross train employees instead of laying them off. It’s the most amazing thing. The Couches even held tight to their Purpose as they were transitioning toward retirement. As a privately held company, they could have sold the business and made well over $1 billion. But they knew that if they sold, American plants would be closed and jobs shipped oversees.

Instead they gradually sold their company, piece by piece to their employees at a bargain price, so it is now 100% employee owned. When I asked Barbara why she would sell her company that way when she could have had an extravagant retirement, she looked at me like I was crazy. She said, “I love my town. How could I look anybody in the eye if I sold out their company?” Their Purpose was clear. They can retire as fulfilled and happy millionaires.

We live in a culture where we are rewarded with the superficial by the superficial. Many people are taught that their purpose in life is outside of themselves, and because of this many people let popular opinion dictate what they should do, feel, want, or even say. Well-being research shows that most powerful way to live is in balance: being true to yourself while also contributing to the world.

This brings us to Core Purpose, which is what you feel you exist to do. It is a single phrase that defines what gives your life meaning. It comes from within, and it is not about what others expect you to do. Somewhere inside, you feel drawn to expressing certain strengths, or achieving certain outcomes. THAT’s your purpose.

Life is more meaningful when many of your hobbies, career responsibilities, and other life decisions align with your Core Purpose. Your purpose becomes your inspiration!

So let’s get to the Core Purpose Brainstorm!

  1. If you’ve completed the Principles and Strengths brainstorms, start by mining those ideas to see what strikes you as your Purpose. (In fact, if you haven’t yet completed the Passion, Strengths, Value Add, and Principles brainstorms, you may want to take a few minutes to check them out.)
  1. Select words or phrases from the list below that deeply resonate with you. Add new words or phrases if they express your purpose better. Don’t worry about how precise or accurate this is. Don’t over analyze; just choose what attracts you. You might even see a pattern here.

  1. Now choose the top words and phrases that represent your Core Purpose. Go through the list and pick your top 3-10. Think quickly. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here.
  2. Once you have compiled your phrases, use them to come up with a draft purpose statements of a few words up to a couple of sentences. Often a purpose statement will start with a verb, something you feel motivated to do. (A purpose statement does not have to be fancy, altruistic, or self-explanatory to be an inspiration to you.)

Prioritizing them like this also gives you clarity about which parts of your DNA are your BEST DNA. When you take a look at these statements, everything should generate an image in your mind of the best of who you are, and who you can become more of.

Stay tuned next month, when we work on Best DNA Mottos!

Until then, check out BestDNA.com if you’d like to be guided through discovering your Best DNA and learn how to live into the best of who you are. Use the coupon code “purpose” for 50% off in August.

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Prepare for Success – Don’t get Expertitis

October 6, 2014 · by Bob Faw

Our brains do some weird things when we are successful. It can pay to prepare for it. Especially, because we can get what I call “expertitis.”

I have a confession to make. After getting some really rough feedback about ten years ago I realized that I had come down with a bad case of expertitis. I had become successful as a change agent, and at helping people transform. This success unfortunately went to my head (which swelled a few sizes). I began to lecture people who had no interest in my advice. I was showing the first two symptoms below. No surprise, my success rate (and popularity) began to decline.

Symptoms: Expertitis is that dreaded egotistical state that shows itself in one or more of the following behaviors:

  1. Knowledge bias: (pompous chest puffing-up) “I’m an expert in one area which of course means that I’m an expert in a bunch of areas.”
  2. Teacher bias: (unwanted professorial air) “Of course you want my advice! Let me tell you how to do it right“
  3. Specialist jargon: (speaking in terms no average person can understand – see the urban dictionary for more.)
  4. Narcissistic bias: (with nose up in the air) “I’m so smart that I deserve better treatment than others.”

My solutions to priming by brain to be more realistic and helpful were simple, if not easy.

  1. First, I posted above my desk the following quote.  “Focus on learning, not knowing”.
  2. Then, I made sure with every program that my goal was to “Add as much value as possible, rather than show my expertise.” 

I’d love to hear what you do to balance yourself and prevent expertitis.

Also, I love learning about other brain geeks that use research to help us all learn how to work and live better.

I’ve followed Dr. Srini Pillay for a while. Here are his great suggestions for counteracting expertitis in the Harvard Business Review blog. The Unexpected Consequences of Success

srini-pillay

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Culture eats strategy for breakfast!

May 20, 2014 · by Bob Faw

Logo - Best DNAI enjoyed being interviewed on the Terri Levin Show about how to make sure that the strategy of your company syncs with your culture. I refer to Best DNA and how being clear about your company’s Best DNA helps you create strategy and culture that support each other.Podcast-Logo-250

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Get your ACT together when overwhelmed

March 10, 2014 · by Bob Faw

Tom Raffio interviews Bob Faw about how to get your ACT together on their radio show.

Here are tips for motivating yourself, and others, particularly during busy or stressful times.

Tom Raffio is the leader of Northeast Delta Dental. He is also the co-author of “There Are No Do-Overs: The Big Red Factors For Sustaining a Business Long Term” with Dave Cowens and Barbara McLaughlin

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When You Criticize Someone, You Make It Harder for that Person to Change

December 23, 2013 · by Bob Faw

Daniel Goleman’s post in Harvard Business Review blog network

80-dan-goleman

Wonderful article illustrating the problems with negative feedback and how it limits motivation and creativity. He also talks about some fantastic brain research showing the positive advantages of talking about positive future states.

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Video: Get Your ACT Together

December 19, 2013 · by Bob Faw

Motivating these three aspects of the brain (Artist, Caveman and Thinker) helps us get our ACT together.

For more on the ACT team from “Energize”.

The ACT Team from a teenager’s perspective.

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Focus can change ho-hum to fulfilling

December 9, 2013 · by Bob Faw

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All around us is both dreary, dull and irritating things, as well as amazing, exciting and beautiful things. We have to intentionally focus on the amazing, excitement and beauty around us to counteract the Negativity Bias, and challenges of everyday life.

I started a practice around ten years ago of looking for the beauty in as many situations as possible. I’m blown away at how much beauty is actually around me! Free! To be enjoyed just by looking for it. The flowers in my neighbor’s yard, the kindness of an elderly woman helping her ailing husband so gently, the joy children are feeling as they chase soap bubbles, the nuggets of wisdom in someone I once saw as an enemy, and so much more. The quality of my life has improved the more habitually I’ve done this.

For more Positive Psychology tips like this one listen to Shawn Achor. He’s amazing.

Plus ten simple things you can do that will make you happier-backed by science.

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Laughing at My Nightmare

November 15, 2013 · by Bob Faw

This young man epitomizes keeping a positive attitude, even in the middle of a living nightmare. It also shows the power of loving family and friends.

He is truly living into his Best DNA, and inspiration to us all.

 

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A happy sense of purpose is good for our genes — who knew?

August 25, 2013 · by Bob Faw

I love those wonderful discoveries that show how doing what we love is good for us physically.

Click on The New York Times to read this fascinating, and heartening article.

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Doing Good Helps Us

This is particularly exciting for living into what we call our “Best DNA“.

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