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Posts By Bob Faw

I am the Chief Energizing Officer for the Matchbox Group. We ignite. involve. inspire.

I am a keynote speaker, author and positive change agent.

I energize people to improve their cultures.
matchboxgroup.com

Increasing positivity in every day life

September 30, 2011 · by Bob Faw

I just read a wonderful post by a dear colleague, Schon Beechler titled Battling the Barrage: Ten Ways to Bring Positivity into Every Day.

I added two powerfully positive things I do in the comments below her post as well.

Creating positivity despite the bad stuff

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Optimists are realists – the studies are in!

September 27, 2011 · by Bob Faw
Guest Blogger: Terry Paulson   
When I wrote “The Optimism Advantage,” I was already sold on Seligman’s work on learned optimism. But in doing preparation for the book, I found other research that indicated that optimists are realists. It makes sense. If earned optimism comes from a track record of overcoming obstacles, than you’ve had the experience of facing, analyzing and overcoming problems. To do that, you have to really understand and accept the problem. They are realists because they believe that by understanding a problem, they can cope more effectively. Here are a couple of quotes that I saved that points this out.
“The myth: Optimists are amiable (probably IQ-challenged)Pollyannas who shield themselves from bad signs and aren’t prepared when trouble strikes. Lisa Aspinwall, a University of Maryland psychologist, got $50,000 for work showing just the reverse. She found that happy, optimistic people are more willing than pessimists to read bad news about their health habits and more willing to learn about their failures on tests. They also remember bad news longer than pessimists do. Far from being unrealisticPollyannas, optimists give up sooner than pessimists when presented with unsolvable problems, Aspinwall discovered. ‘Pessimists may not want to know bad news about themselves because, unlike optimists, they don’t think there’s anything they can do about it,’ she says. Optimists may want to know where they’ve erred ‘so they can improve later—of course, they think they can improve.’ And their open approach promotes better relationships. Optimistic couples are more likely than pessimists to bring up what’s bothering them so itcan be resolved. ‘They may be more confident that they can solve things,’ Aspinwall says, ‘but when something can’t be solved, they seem to recognize that earlier.’” Marilyn Elias (USA Today, 5-16-2000)“Numerous studies show that optimists, far from protecting their fragile vision of the world,confront trouble head-on, while it is pessimists who bury their heads in the sand of denial. In a 1993 study of women newly diagnosed with breast cancer, the women with an optimistic disposition were more likely to acknowledge the seriousness of the disease, experienced less distress and took more active steps to cope with it. ‘Pessimism was associated with denial and a giving up response.’ Said Charles Carver of the University of Miami, who conducted the study withMicahelScheier of Carnegie Mellon University. ‘Optimism was associated with positively reframing the situation, with women believing, ‘This is not going to go away, so let me make the best of it I can.’’Carver said.” TerenceMonmaney (LA Times, 1-5-2000, pp. A1, 15)“A study of 78 men with AIDS provided evidence that optimists live longer. Those who indicated that they had a realistic view of their disease’s course died an average of nine months sooner than those who were optimistic about postponing the end…. The central paradox of positive thinking is clear—Clinging to the belief in a positive future against reasonable odds sometimes makes it happen.” Shelley Taylor, Positive Illusions” (January 8, 2000, 4A, Sun-Sentinel, South Florida)

Dr. Terry Paulson is a psychologist, professional speaker, columnist and author of the popular books “The Optimism Advantage,” “Leadership Truths One Story at a Time,” “Making Humor Work,” and “They Shoot Managers Don’t They?”

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Video that speaks to positive life-transformation

September 27, 2011 · by Bob Faw

Last year I blogged about this amazing nonprofit in “Deep full-life transformation“.

This video is a compilation of client interviews we made over about 6 months. Very inspiring!

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Positive change agents – principles for enjoyable success

August 10, 2011 · by Bob Faw

We’ve used these principles to guide our positive change projects for years.  

These principles are keys to motivating busy people.

  1. Take the time to make goals clear and compelling.
  2. The easier it is to contribute the more people do it.
  3. Make starting steps doable and clear.
  4. Make sure people feel confident enough in their role.
  5. Frame goals, directions and other communication positively.
  6. Steady guidance at a strategic level keeps people on track and confident in success.
  7. Make questions specific, positive and generative.
  8. Keep focused on your top priority goal. Ensure that you’ve applied all the resources you need to to this goal.

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Join the Positive Change Revolution!

July 28, 2011 · by Bob Faw

Many wonderful approaches create positive change. Here are a few, described by key practitioners.

David Cooperrider

Appreciative Inquiry

As described by the Appreciative Inquiry Commons: Appreciative Inquiry is about the coevolutionary search for the best in people, their organizations, and the relevant world around them. In its broadest focus, it involves systematic discovery of what gives “life” to a living system when it is most alive, most effective, and most constructively capable in economic, ecological, and human terms. AI involves, in a central way, the art and practice of asking questions that strengthen a system’s capacity to apprehend, anticipate, and heighten positive potential. It centrally involves the mobilization of inquiry through the crafting of the “unconditional positive question” often-involving hundreds or sometimes thousands of people. In AI the arduous task of intervention gives way to the speed of imagination and innovation; instead of negation, criticism, and spiraling diagnosis, there is discovery, dream, and design.

AI seeks, fundamentally, to build a constructive union between a whole people and the massive entirety of what people talk about as past and present capacities: achievements, assets, unexplored potentials, innovations, strengths, elevated thoughts, opportunities, benchmarks, high point moments, lived values, traditions, strategic competencies, stories, expressions of wisdom, insights into the deeper corporate spirit or soul– and visions of valued and possible futures. Taking all of these together as a gestalt, AI deliberately, in everything it does, seeks to work from accounts of this “positive change core”—and it assumes that every living system has many untapped and rich and inspiring accounts of the positive. Link the energy of this core directly to any change agenda and changes never thought possible are suddenly and democratically mobilized.

Mark McKergow

Paul Z Jackson

Solution focus

As described by Dr. Mark McKergow and Paul Z. Jackson: Solutions Focus (SF) is an approach to change that is causing companies worldwide to sit up and take notice. Its primary focus is on uncovering and building on what is already working well – even in areas that are failing. Whether you’re a manager, a team leader, a coach or a consultant, you can use SF to generate immediate results. The SF approach is sometimes compared to Appreciative Inquiry. Both methods focus on what’s working; many people prefer SF for its incisive simplicity and applicability in all kinds of situations, big and small.

The solution-focused philosophy is an approach to change, centered on keeping things as simple as possible, doing what works and nothing else. We discovered it in the world of therapy, when in the late 1980s Steve de Shazer extended the earlier work of Milton Erickson and the Mental Research Institute to produce a tested yet minimal approach to change (for example de Shazer, 1988, and George, Iveson & Ratner, 1999). These same sources had earlier sparked NLP, to which solution focus might be seen as a younger, leaner second cousin.

Solution focus has since spread in the UK to the fields of education, social work, and child protection and is now making inroads to the organizational world.

 

Marcus Buckingham

Strength-based Leadership

As described by Tom Rath and Ashok Gopal: Nearly a decade ago, Gallup unveiled the results of a landmark 30-year research project that ignited a global conversation on the topic of strengths. More than 3 million people have since taken Gallup’s StrengthsFinder assessment, which forms the core of several books on this topic, including the #1 international bestseller StrengthsFinder 2.0.

In recent years, while continuing to learn more about strengths, Gallup scientists have also been examining decades of data on the topic of leadership. They studied more than one million work teams, conducted more than 20,000 in-depth interviews with leaders, and even interviewed more than 10,000 followers around the world to ask exactly why they followed the most important leader in their life.

In Strengths Based Leadership, #1 New York Times bestselling author Tom Rath and renowned leadership consultant Barry Conchie reveal the results of this research. Based on their discoveries, the book identifies three keys to being a more effective leader: knowing your strengths and investing in others’ strengths, getting people with the right strengths on your team, and understanding and meeting the four basic needs of those who look to you for leadership.

 

Join us in the positive change revolt!

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Are you a positive change agent? – Survey

April 21, 2011 · by Bob Faw

I’m not talking about secret agents … positive change agents are actually in the middle of the action, right in the public eye. They take risks all right, but the kind that help people and organizations grow.

See how many of these statements describe you to find out if you’re a positive change agent, a positive change agent in the making, or needing a weeklong retreat with a gaggle of positive change gurus. Then click the number that fits below the list.

  1. I look for a way to adapt when the change isn’t going my way.
  2. I know the journey is just as important as the destination.
  3. It is intuitively obvious that when people enjoy a change process it’s far more effective, fast and easy.
  4. I prefer to build on strengths and find the best in people, and not the old “break ’em down and build ’em the way you want them” method.
  5. It is obvious that the quality of a relationship is as important as the quality of an idea/product.
  6. I know why Appreciative Inquiry, Positive Psychology, Strength-based development, Positive Deviance, or Solution focus work so well.
  7. I’ve seen that win-win solutions make the most sustainable change.
  8. I’ve found that buy-in comes from authentic questions, real listening, and a chance to make a difference.
  9. I like solutions and talking about what to do far more than creating a list of problems and playing the blame game.
  10. I prefer a few core principles rather than a thick rulebook.

I’d love to hear more about how you create positive change.

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Optimal balance of positive & negative

April 17, 2011 · by Bob Faw

No surprise to many of us… research has now shown that you need to be a lot more positive than negative on teams.

10:1 – Ideal Positive:Negative Balance  

Using a “Capture Lab” researchers saw a strong average correlation between positive language and performance.

  • Low performing teams communicated 1 positive for every 3 negatives – 1:3
  • Medium teams averaged 2:1
  • High performing teams ranged from 6:1 to 11:1
  • Too much positive, 12:1 or more, “calcifies a team”, making necessary change and adaptation difficult.

Sustainable marriages apparently need at least 5 times as many positive emotions regarding one’s partner as negative–5:1

This ratio is yet another reason to use positive change approaches such as Appreciative Inquiry, Positive Psychology, building on your strengths, Solutions Focus, and Positive Deviance.

BTW, I make no money off these links, but I do make money using these methods in our positive change consulting. We find these approaches not only more effective for our clients, but far more enjoyable for them… and for us!

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“Resilience” thoughts from my mentors

April 3, 2011 · by Bob Faw

In addition to having the honor of training others to increase Resilience, I’ve enjoyed learning from a couple of my mentors.

 

Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology talks about “flourishing” which is really at the heart of great resilience.

I’ve never met him, but I’ve learned a lot nonetheless.

This video explains the powerful of flourishing personally and globally.

 

Allen Hollander, who I’ve known for 20 years, has a great blog. His latest post explains the importance of how you interpret a traumatic situation. The more you are determined to learn from it, the more you can bounce back and grow.

 

 

 

 

 

I’m grateful to Allen, Martin, and all the other people who I’ve learned from over the years. Here’s to mentors!

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Shifting the complex balance of decision making

March 1, 2011 · by Bob Faw

Teeter Totter Effect

 

Influencing decision-making is challenging if you don’t have direct power.

Even when you do it can be incredibly difficult if there are enough demotivators present. Many of the factors influencing decisions are unconscious, making it challenging to even sway oneself. If you doubt me…

CHOOSING TO LOSE WEIGHT: What percentage of dieters reach their goals? Even though we have high control, it would seem, over what food we put in our mouths, there are many other factors acting as demotivators against the “lose weight” goal. We eat for many reasons including emotional ones that counterbalance the desire to look good.

USING THE TEETER TOTTER EFFECT: Part of the success of influence rests upon our ability and willingness to put more motivators on the teeter totter, and take demotivators.

MOST CHANGE EFFORTS FAIL: As many as 70% of mergers and acquisitions lose profitability. A majority of those are due to culture clashes. These are situations where there are way too many balls on the demotivating side, and they were ignored, not understood, or assumed to not make a difference. Plus, there is rarely enough personal reasons for people in the organizations to work hard to make it work.

Free illustration handout click Teeter Totter Effect

FOCUS: Often helping people focus more strongly on the aspects of the change that motivate them personally are key to gaining buy-in to a major change. Also reducing the things that make them want to avoid your changes as if they were poison.

For ideas on how to have a positive influence see other blog posts:

Positive Change Questions

Influencing your mood

Feedforward – influencing future good action

Focusing on clear goals

I’d LOVE to hear your ideas on how to tip the Teeter Totter to positive action. Please comment or send me an email.

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Paradox of vulnerability

February 20, 2011 · by Bob Faw

Vulnerability can lead us to great harm… and it’s the only way to great joy.

Authenticity is our most powerful way of positively influencing others.

Brene Brown speaks powerfully about her own fight against vulnerability, and they way it led her to authenticity. This is a must see for any who want to see how “hard” research” deals with a “soft” topic.

If you value feeling connected to others watch this video.

Vulnerability – Path to Personal Power

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