Posts By Bob Faw

I am the Chief Energizing Officer for the Matchbox Group. We ignite. involve. inspire.

I am a keynote speaker, author and positive change agent.

I energize people to improve their cultures.
matchboxgroup.com

Stop the Blame Game

February 24, 2017 · by Bob Faw

Play the Reframe Game Instead

Did you know that your brain is like any other system of muscles in your body? You can train it to function optimally. You can actually mold the way your brain works through habits and the things you do every day.

Think about those people around you who are negative most of the time. (It may be you!) It took years of hard work, and brain molding, to get to be that negative every day. (It might be amusing, but it’s true!)

Because your brain has a natural negativity bias, giving bad emotions more weight than good ones, it’s easy to get into a negative state. This is why we have to be able to positively prime ourselves on purpose to focus on solutions to the problem instead of just the problem itself.

A solution-focused mindset is a critical part of a purpose-driven life.

Today I’m going to give you a tool to train your brain to be more solution-focused. If you do this activity once, you will feel better in that moment. If you do it every day for a week, you have a skillset that you can easily apply to your life. If you do it every day for a month, it becomes habit. Then you can start using that habit in all areas of your life.

If you do this long enough, it changes your personality. You will be the same person, just with some of your rough edges polished. You will also be more able to create positive solutions versus getting caught up in complaining about the things that are bad.

When you are solutions-focused, you tend to be more optimistic, to bounce back from calamities more easily, and even to get knocked down less often. It literally makes you physically healthier as well, and less likely to get stress-related disorders and some cancers, according to research.

I used to be very negative and very sarcastic. (Insert “gasp” here!) This is a true story! I started to develop solution-focused habits about three decades ago, and now most people tell me that I’m very positive person. (Don’t worry, it doesn’t take that long to master!) Every day doing this makes life better!

A solution focus gives us a broader way of looking at what we do want and where we want to go. People are much more receptive when you are helping them get to a better place versus stopping them from doing something “wrong.”

I’m sure you can think of times in your life when people tried to change you and you didn’t want to be changed. Or if you’ve ever tried to change another person, how often did it result in them saying, “Yes, I would love for you to point out the ways I’m defective!” Criticism like this undermines our sense of autonomy. A solution-focused approach helps incorporate someone’s sense of autonomy instead of violating it.

Play the Reframe Game, Instead of the Blame Game

When a problem comes up, we generally ask who did it, what they did wrong, and look for the negatives. This type of approach doesn’t work well with people. They get defensive and start playing the blame game. Very rarely do we get people to say, “Yes, I blew that $2 million deal. I’m so glad you pointed that out, here in front of everyone.” Instead they blame other departments and other people for their part in the problem.

To Reframe, focus not on the problem but instead on the future opportunities. Essentially shift from problem-solving to solution-generating mode. You may be asking yourself right now, “How in the world do you do that, Bob?” That’s a great question!

Here are the Three Questions of the Reframe Game:

What is the common goal that we all want? Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on the outcome that everyone is looking for. This helps to unite the team for the future.
What is already working toward that goal? It might be counterintuitive, but it’s very powerful. Instead of focusing on what is wrong, instead start with what is right. Have the group help you brainstorm what is working: maybe relationships, skillsets, financial resources, whatever you have already in place. This improves the overall outlook and helps people feel safe, heard and confident. It builds a sense of momentum, and allows you to build on best practices instead of starting from scratch.
What else can we do to build on what is working? This helps create a plan to get to the common goal, starting from a place of momentum instead of starting from defeat. People are far more creative when they are brainstorming using best practices, versus brainstorming about the gaps (which often starts the blame game again).

You can practice this brainstorm with your team, or with others you trust. If the problem is yours alone to tackle, enlisting others to help can help you see things you don’t see, and even encourages their investment in the success of the project.

Side note: Another great use for this activity is to help coach someone who is struggling, whether it’s a colleague you are mentoring, a family member, or even a child.

This is transformational for kids! If you want to help your kids to be resilient, strong and creative, this is a great tool to use with them. It trains their brains to look for the things that work. As parents we often want to solve problems for our children, but this process helps them solve problems on their own. And by having these conversations with them, you will be able to more deeply understand what is happening in their lives, and how you can help them in the future.

And if you want to learn more, here are some more positive focus resources.

Positive Change Questions

My Story of Discovery

Getting Creative with Creative Conflict

Get Creative with a Positive Focus

How to Get the Best Out of Your Employees

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Misery Loves Company, But Company Doesn’t Love Misery

January 26, 2017 · by Bob Faw

Live Your Life On Purpose This Year

Many of us are already pages deep in never-to-be-fulfilled New Year’s resolutions—listing off myriad ways to improve ourselves in a variety of areas. My suggestion this year is to set just one goal for yourself. It is a simple yet important resolution that will make life much better. It can make your more fulfilled, and make you more interesting to be around too.

Let 2017 be the year that you let your Purpose guide you.

Positive Psychology has shown the value in having a purpose-driven life. Purpose is one of our major intrinsic motivators. According to Daniel Pink in his book Drive, it’s these three motivators—Purpose, Autonomy, and Mastery—that enable people to feel passionate about their lives, going above and beyond regularly.

To uncover your purpose, consider what fulfills you. What drives you to do good in the world? Then reflect on how you spend your time: What is the purpose of your organization? What is the purpose of your team? Then line these things up.

It’s OK if you can’t line them up perfectly. Not everyone can start a non-profit. Good thing there are countless ways to fulfill your purpose. The world needs people whose purpose is fulfilled through creating all kinds of goods, services and entertainment. And if you can increase the amount you live your purpose by just 5%, your life will be more meaningful!

One of the things I find purpose in is helping people with the way they look at the world and the way they view themselves. Thankfully, I get to live my purpose as a career. But I also spend extra time doing things that I’m not compensated for, such as writing, creating videos, and mentoring young people.

Recently I met a young man on the subway. Here was this tall, good-looking guy who at first glance looked privileged. But upon further examination, he was missing his shoelaces and pretty scattered. He didn’t have enough money for the train, so I bought him a ticket and asked him what was going on. As I learned more about his story, I discovered that this young man had had an abusive childhood that had led to arrests and a general distrust of authority. I could empathize. I told him that I had experienced a lot of violence as a child as well. I had once felt the way he felt, but that I had changed my thinking through the support of mentors, and that today I was an author, speaker and trainer. He asked the name of my book, and seemed to be energized by our conversation and the possibilities. I noticed that others on the train who were eavesdropping on our conversation seemed to be energized as well, as some were smiling at me as I got off the train.

Because I connect with people relatively easily, my wife and friends like to ask me who I befriended that day or what my stories were. When you live a purpose-driven life, it makes for great stories!

People get tired of hearing others vent about their job and about things they don’t like about their lives. Misery does love company, but company doesn’t like misery. If you want to be an inspiration to people talk more about your passion and your purpose. It’s not just the big things that you do; it’s all the little things you do that create a purpose-driven life.

Here are a couple ideas for finding your Purpose:

Complete the Best DNA instrument (for free!). It’s a great way to quickly clarify your passions and your purpose into a practical motto. If you’ve got 90 minutes and want life to be better, use this coupon code “CompanyDoesn’tLikeMisery” by the end of February.

Or Track it. Set a daily reminder to write down, “What did I get pleasantly lost in today?” Essentially that activity that you enjoyed doing, during which time didn’t matter, and afterwards you could have spent more time doing it. It could be tackling an interesting problem at your job or helping somebody with an issue. Or maybe working on some cool form of creative expression.

Note these activities for a couple of weeks, and then look for commonalities and discuss them with a friend. Many people are surprised at the things that come up again and again. The best ways to find out how to make life better are usually by looking at what is good already.

As a bonus, there is brain science showing that when you make a habit of looking for the things that are fulfilling in your life, you will not only find them you but you will also savor them!

And for more on savoring, check out this Highlights activity!

So, do you want more fun and self-esteem in your life? Live life on purpose!

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Forget the Tricks, Give Your Team a Treat

December 15, 2016 · by Bob Faw

Helping Others Live Into Their Best DNA

One of my Leadership University students once told me a personal story about her son, who had been struggling with depression. She and her husband were very worried about him, but she didn’t know what to do for him besides lecture him on what he should do differently to get his act together.

After working with me, she decided to hold a family meeting with her son and husband. They had a discussion about the things her son did that added value to the family and to their lives. She reported that the result was amazing: Her son began to see his own value, he started to help out more around the house without being nagged, and he made a plan for his life. This all happened because the family was focusing collectively on that small portion of his Best DNA. An added bonus was that it improved the relationship between her husband and her son.

Think about people you know who are struggling at work or home. Many times we see these people as low performers, but they might simply be struggling because they don’t see their own value.

It’s a common reaction to come down hard on people when they start to perform at subpar levels. It’s the fight-or-flight response part of our brain that makes us think that if we make people feel guilty or shameful that will teach them and they will work harder. There are some situations where this can be helpful, but generally it only makes things worse.

If you can help people work from a place of excitement versus fear and involvement versus punishment, they will start to become self-motivated instead of you having to harp on them to do their jobs.

If you want to be an energizing leader with a team (and even a family) of motivated people, try spending far more time focusing on their strengths and passions, and only focus on the weaknesses and challenges when it’s helpful, not just because your gut tells you to.

The first part of helping others live into their Best DNA is helping them figure out what their Best DNA is. Obviously having your team complete the Best DNA brainstorms is the most comprehensive way to help them discover their best, but one quick way to jumpstart the process is through the Value Add Activity.

You start by handing out index cards to everyone on your team. Each person then writes one quality or action that they value for each member of the team, and gives that card to the corresponding person. It can be something like, “Always meets deadlines,” or “Keeps us calm during times of stress,” or “Creates thorough agendas for meetings.”
Once everyone has their cards, they can rank them by the items they find most enjoyable or fulfilling.
Then ask your team to take the top three and brainstorm additional activities they enjoy doing that are similar.
Ask them to identify other tasks or even hobbies that they lose themselves in.
Then ask them to pinpoint why they enjoy these activities.
Finally, start a discussion on ways that they can do more of these types of activities—both at work and at home.

This exercise is a great way to open people’s eyes to what others value. Not only does it feel great to have so many positive comments, it also helps team members feel better about one another!

Help your team get on the path to growth today! From now until the end of the year, we are drastically reducing the price of our Best DNA tool! For only $19 per person, you and your team can go through the steps to identify—and maximize—your Best DNA. Click here to take advantage of this amazing deal.

Check out this video for more information!

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Walk Before You Run (Off and Join the Circus)

October 6, 2016 · by Bob Faw

A Roadmap for Living Into Your Best DNA

Self-discovery can be a blast. There’s nothing like figuring out what you’re really good at to energize your day-to-day tasks, or to give you the boost you need to move to the next level.

Over the past several months we’ve been working through Best DNA, and if you’ve been doing the brainstorm activities (Passion, Strengths, Value Add, Principles, Purpose, and finally Best DNA Motto brainstorms) you’ve probably made some very exciting realizations.

Your Best DNA may ultimately guide you to change directions in life. You may even make some big adjustments, if that’s the right thing for you.

But before you quit your job and start breeding pygmy goats, or sell your house to take trapeze lessons and join the circus, I’d like to offer some ideas for easing into your Best DNA. (And I happen to know first-hand that those cirque troops are extremely selective.)

It’s all about taking small steps in the right direction. Even small things can get the ball rolling, and help you learn more about yourself and what works best for you. I always suggest starting this way because it’s much easier to start with something small and build up momentum.

At this point, you’re also experimenting-discovering if this really your Best DNA before you take a big risk. What if you jump into a whole new job and discover that you don’t like it after all?

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Discuss your Best DNA Motto with people who can support you, and get feedback on how it fits you.
List tasks, roles and projects you currently work on that are aligned with your Best DNA and make you feel good. Brainstorm ways to do more of these kinds of Best DNA-aligned activities.
List up to 5 tasks, roles and projects that do not fit your Best DNA and are draining to you. Brainstorm ways to do less of these kinds of activities. (i.e., trade with others who do like the task, delegate, automate, or get help)
Find hobbies and volunteer opportunities that align with your Best DNA.
Look for a life or career coach to help you find additional ways to fulfill your core purpose.
Identify one small action you can take today, and every day, that will free you up from an activity that drags you down.

When you start taking actions that align with your best DNA, you will get even better at your career. Eventually this will lead to you getting paid more for what you love doing.

But let me clarify this: NOBODY lives in his or her Best DNA 100% of the time. As human beings, we are just not capable of living permanently in that passionate mode. We need downtime, and it is important to honor the other parts of who we are. Life also necessitates occasional drudgery and doing things we don’t love. We have to pay the bills, get the house cleaned, do the grocery shopping, and clean up after the goats.

For example, I have spent years in the same career of training and consulting, but now I do a lot more public speaking-which I LOVE doing. In order to get the speaking gigs I love, I have to create proposals, do some marketing, and even do sales. And let me tell you, that is NOT in my Best DNA. However, I know how crucial these tasks are in order for me to reach my ideal life. I try to outsource as much as possible. When I have to handle some of it, I keep my eye on the big picture to keep myself motivated.

Living into your Best DNA will ultimately transform you over time and build a foundation for big changes. With a daily practice of taking a small, mindful action in the right direction, you will eventually be living a life of fulfillment.

Next month we’ll talk about how to help others live into their Best DNA. In the meantime, I would love to hear your feedback. Just post a comment below!

Visit BestDNA.com to learn more! Through the end of 2016, I’m offering the online assessment at a special price of only $19!

If you’re eager for more, watch this video on Using Best DNA to Help Determine Your Personal Brand.

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I Want to Rock ‘n’ Roll All Night! … Never Mind, I Gotta Work Tomorrow

September 1, 2016 · by Bob Faw

Creating Your Best DNA Motto

Walk your talk. To live fully, use a motto to make the talk walkable.

If you’ve been working through your Best DNA over these last few posts, congrats! You’re getting ready to put it all together in your Best DNA Motto.

(If you haven’t yet completed the Best DNA brainstorm sessions, they are definitely worth checking out, and don’t take too long. Click here to check out the Passion, Strengths, Value Add, Principles and Purpose brainstorms.)

A Motto is a memorable phrase that makes it easier to guide your life by your Best DNA. The words that make up your Motto can help you figure out what kind of work you want to do, who you want to work with, and how you want to spend your free time. Once you determine your Motto, you can evaluate how everything in your life syncs up.

Some people live by their own personal mottos: “Down with the Establishment”, “Life’s Too Short to Deal With Jerks”, “You Only Live Once (YOLO)”, “Eat More Bacon”. But what you want is a Motto that doesn’t get you put in jail, fired from your job, kicked out by your spouse, or really high cholesterol.

Mottos may change over time. For example, my Motto about 30 years ago is far different than my Motto today. As a teenager, my motto may have been, “Whatever gets you through the night.” (Maybe that’s still your motto if you have obnoxious neighbors or a new baby. Hey, I’m not judging.)

The great news is that once you create your Best DNA Motto, you will find that you tend to do more activities—small and large—that will have a big role in building your ideal future.

I once worked with a leader named Wendy Schroeder, helping her discover her Best DNA and then she did the same process with her team. Afterward they all shared their Mottos with one another, and soon Wendy started to notice a shift in the culture. The members of her team began volunteering for activities that fit their mottos, and getting more enthusiastic about their work. Not only were they taking care of tasks without her having to tell them what to do, but they were also working on their weaknesses by getting help from their coworkers, based on each person’s Motto.

Our Best DNA is as unique as fingerprints, so our Mottos will be as well. And like anything else in this Best DNA Assessment, you can change it over time. I have. When I first created my personal motto I was 24 and reading a book on Purpose. I decided that my motto was “Guide positive change,” but as my career evolved I realized that I liked to energize it, not just guide it. Then I decided that transformation was more powerful than change to me. Today my Motto is, “Energizing positive transformation.” It thrills me to even say it. You will probably find something totally different equally compelling.

Let’s get started! (Follow these steps or get help using the coupon code at the end.)

In creating your motto you’ll start with your Core Purpose. (Many people find it easy to work from there, as they often tend to be similar.) Follow the Purpose directions here. It should align with your personal Principles, play to your Strengths, and guide you in Adding more Value.
I encourage you to limit your motto to 2 to 5 words to make sure it’s memorable. It only works if it’s top of mind. Your Motto should motivate you, inspire you, and bring clarity to your mind. It doesn’t have to mean anything special to other people.
Write compelling words from any part of your Best DNA. Quickly create 3 or more potential mottos without editing.
Then choose the motto you like the best! Treat this as your version 1.0. It doesn’t have to be perfect! It just has to be good enough for now. You can always fine-tune it later.

Next month we’ll talk about how to use your Motto to live into your Best DNA. And I would love to hear your feedback on Mottos. Just comment below.

In the meantime, visit BestDNA.com to learn more. Use the coupon code “MOTTO” for 50% off a guided Best DNA Assessment for the month of September.

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Hate Your Job? Your Purpose Can Be Your Inspiration

August 9, 2016 · by Bob Faw

We’re all familiar with the archetypal midlife crisis that involves a sports car, some new clothes and maybe even a younger love interest. The truth is that the vast majority of midlife changes are not superficial, but instead are driven by people looking for more meaning in their lives.

Some people are lucky enough to find careers that fulfill their purpose early on, but for most people finding that dream job is usually through trial and error. People make transformations simply because they are looking for a deeper sense of purpose: the stock broker who opens a bakery, the executive who sells everything and moves to Asia, the wealthy entrepreneur who gives his money to charity.

For example Bill Gates, who at times has been the wealthiest person on the planet, has shifted his focus over the last several years to doing things that drive his core purpose of improving the quality of life for people around the world. He has done this through his foundation’s efforts to improve education, vaccinations and health, and agricultural development across the globe.

Two people I’ve had the pleasure to meet who live their Core Purpose are Dick and Barbara Couch, the owners of a company called Hypertherm. Their Purpose is serving the greater good of their employees and their town. Hypertherm has a no-layoff policy. Instead they have created a war chest, so that when the economy dips, they cross train employees instead of laying them off. It’s the most amazing thing. The Couches even held tight to their Purpose as they were transitioning toward retirement. As a privately held company, they could have sold the business and made well over $1 billion. But they knew that if they sold, American plants would be closed and jobs shipped oversees.

Instead they gradually sold their company, piece by piece to their employees at a bargain price, so it is now 100% employee owned. When I asked Barbara why she would sell her company that way when she could have had an extravagant retirement, she looked at me like I was crazy. She said, “I love my town. How could I look anybody in the eye if I sold out their company?” Their Purpose was clear. They can retire as fulfilled and happy millionaires.

We live in a culture where we are rewarded with the superficial by the superficial. Many people are taught that their purpose in life is outside of themselves, and because of this many people let popular opinion dictate what they should do, feel, want, or even say. Well-being research shows that most powerful way to live is in balance: being true to yourself while also contributing to the world.

This brings us to Core Purpose, which is what you feel you exist to do. It is a single phrase that defines what gives your life meaning. It comes from within, and it is not about what others expect you to do. Somewhere inside, you feel drawn to expressing certain strengths, or achieving certain outcomes. THAT’s your purpose.

Life is more meaningful when many of your hobbies, career responsibilities, and other life decisions align with your Core Purpose. Your purpose becomes your inspiration!

So let’s get to the Core Purpose Brainstorm!

If you’ve completed the Principles and Strengths brainstorms, start by mining those ideas to see what strikes you as your Purpose. (In fact, if you haven’t yet completed the Passion, Strengths, Value Add, and Principles brainstorms, you may want to take a few minutes to check them out.)

Select words or phrases from the list below that deeply resonate with you. Add new words or phrases if they express your purpose better. Don’t worry about how precise or accurate this is. Don’t over analyze; just choose what attracts you. You might even see a pattern here.

Now choose the top words and phrases that represent your Core Purpose. Go through the list and pick your top 3-10. Think quickly. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here.
Once you have compiled your phrases, use them to come up with a draft purpose statements of a few words up to a couple of sentences. Often a purpose statement will start with a verb, something you feel motivated to do. (A purpose statement does not have to be fancy, altruistic, or self-explanatory to be an inspiration to you.)

Prioritizing them like this also gives you clarity about which parts of your DNA are your BEST DNA. When you take a look at these statements, everything should generate an image in your mind of the best of who you are, and who you can become more of.

Stay tuned next month, when we work on Best DNA Mottos!

Until then, check out BestDNA.com if you’d like to be guided through discovering your Best DNA and learn how to live into the best of who you are. Use the coupon code “purpose” for 50% off in August.

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To Laugh or Not to Laugh :: Is there even a question?

July 11, 2016 · by Bob Faw

People Hands Holding Red Straight Word Principles

Uncovering Your Core Principles

Several years ago, I interviewed for a large strategic planning contract with a Fortune 100 company. I had a preliminary meeting with the steering committee that went great—I made them laugh throughout the meeting, and by the end we were carrying on like old friends. As I was walking out the door, they gave me one piece of advice. They told me that when I did my demo with the team the next day I should not use humor. My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Me, Bob Faw, not use humor? Did I hear that right? I struggled to mask how stunned I was by this request. I explained to them the brain science behind the use of humor and how it helps people relax and be more productive, but they held fast—no jokes for the big guys.

That night I had a conundrum to work through. Would I stay true to my style or would I adapt their style to get this project? If I had won that contract, it could have doubled my income that year. But I had to decide if I wanted to spend that much time violating my core principles. In the end, I decided to be me. I did my demo to a room full of laughter and interaction, and … I did not get the project.

(Ironically the VP of HR pulled me into her office afterward and wanted me to do conflict management with her senior team. So humor is good for conflict but not for strategic planning? But that’s a story for another time …)

To be honest, I have never regretted that decision. I would much rather spend my time working with people who line up with my principles. It’s much easier to be your best authentic self when you feel like you’re living true to the best of you.

Just because something looks like “the life” from the outside doesn’t mean that it’s a really a good life. Trying to force yourself into a situation that doesn’t align with who you are hurts you on the inside and can lead to so many negative things over time. Take rock stars and movie stars for example. They are usually not the happiest people in the world, despite having plenty of money and adoring fans around them. This is because many are constantly trying to be what other people want them to be.

And this leads us right into the next email in the Best DNA series: Principles.

Principles are guidelines that help you make good career and life decisions. The goal here is to uncover the Core Principles that you just cannot live without. These are part of your identity: they shape your thinking and how you express yourself in the world.

Principles are usually qualities. For example, freedom, learning, growth, honesty, health, charity, etc. My own core principles are “learn, grow, and have fun.” They help guide me in determining the jobs and volunteer roles I take on, and even the kind of people I like to hang out with.

When you are conscious of these Principles, you hate violating them. And when you do violate them, it’s uncomfortable, or even devastating. That itself is a great indicator of what might be getting in the way of your fulfillment. One thing is for sure: If you violate your core principles for long enough, you will eventually burn out.

On the other hand, when you stay true to these principles you will feel a sense of integrity, higher self esteem, peace of mind, and more enjoyment in your career and life. Don’t get me wrong, survival and taking care of your family may force us to sometimes take work that violates our principles. However, whenever you have the choice, use these as your guide.

After doing this activity, I have seen many people have an “ah-ha” moment where they suddenly pinpoint the exact reason behind not liking a job, or why they end up arguing with that one person every time they speak, or why some groups feel so right to be part of.

So try it out!

Principles Brainstorm

Choose 7-9 Principles you value from the list below. You can also choose principles that are not on the list, or adapt any of these to fit you better.

Bobs word chart

Go through the list and pick your top 3 Core Principles that you want more of in your life. Think quickly. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here.
Finally, rank these 3 in order so you have a crystal clear sense of what your top priorities are.

(Why do we choose only our top 3? Because 3 is a magic number that makes it easy for your brain to remember. And the components of your Best DNA can only guide you if you remember them!)

Now you should have 3 words that give you both clarity and motivation. Everything here is meant to generate an image in your mind of the best of who you are, and who you can become more of—Your Best DNA!

Stay tuned next month as we explore Purpose! Until then, I would love to hear your feedback on Principles. Just comment below. And don’t forget to connect with me on social media!

If you have missed them, over the past few months we’ve completed the Passion Brainstorm, the Strengths Brainstorm, and the Value Add Brainstorm, which are all worth taking a few minutes to complete as you work toward discovering your Best DNA.

Check out BestDNA.com if you’d like to be guided through discovering your Best DNA and learn how to live into the best of who you are. Use the coupon code “principles” by the end of July for 50% off.

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Get High With Daily Highlights

May 18, 2016 · by Bob Faw

This tool is life-changing!

Make yourself and your family more resilient against depression, anxiety and the challenges of life.

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Discover Your Value! And be true to the best of you.

May 12, 2016 · by Bob Faw

Do you know the value you add? Really, do you? When you know the value you bring to the table, you can focus on making the most important contribution possible.

I call this your “Value Add.” This is how you best add value to projects, people, teams, systems, your family, and more. These are your contributions that people find valuable, admirable, and maybe even praiseworthy. Your Value Add is what you do that makes the most difference to others.

And it’s the next step in the Best DNA Series. We’ve worked our way through the Passion Brainstorm and the Strengths Brainstorm, which are both worth taking a few minutes to complete, if you haven’t already.

Some people tell you to “live your passion,” or “live your dream.” While other people say that the most important thing in life is to be useful. I say that both are right—bring them together! The best of value add is when you’re contributing to the world and enjoying yourself too. It doesn’t have to be just one or the other.

Ours lives are most meaningful when we contribute to other people’s lives. (Put on your lifejacket; it’s about to get deep.) And the more effective and helpful your contribution, the more meaningful your life will be! (Mic drop! Bob Faw exit stage left.)

But seriously, when your contributions align with your passions and strengths, you will also feel more fulfillment in your career and life. You may even figure out that you want to take on a different career path or hobbies that provide you with more opportunities to add value in a way that suits your passionate strengths.

When I do Best DNA with my clients, I do a fun teambuilding activity around Value Add. Try this in your life. I have each person on the team write down on index cards a way that each of his or her coworkers adds value and helps him or her do their job well. This can be a soft or hard skill, such as “Creates stellar presentations,” or “Helps calm people down.”

Then they give these cards to each other. It’s a bit like Valentine’s Day! When people review their cards, they usually see a lot of overlap and very quickly get a sense of their Value Add. Not only does this help you to see exactly what others value in you, but it also illuminates the needs of others on your team. Plus, when you help others see their value, you start to recognize what others add to your life instead of taking them and their actions for granted.

Value Adds are usually specific tasks, results, or behaviors that you bring to the table that make a difference or help others to achieve their goals. Value Adds can be tasks that you do, or they can be the WAYS that you do it. For example, many people can give useful advice, but maybe you are that one friend who many turn to when they need advice with emotional support.

Exchanging Value Add feedback can also be wonderful for couples and families. With our families we generally have so little time and so much to do. If you can focus on the activities that matter the most, time with your family will be more meaningful. For example, one of the things my wife really loves is when I cook her breakfast. It’s not a strength nor a passion of mine, but it is so easy to do. Plus, it has a great return on effort!

You may see that many of these Value Adds are different ways of describing your strengths. That’s common. If they aren’t, that’s OK too. The purpose is to receive more clarity on how we see ourselves versus how others see us.

Value Add Brainstorm

To discover your Value Add, try asking yourself the following questions.

Why were you hired/promoted?
Why do people ask you for help?
What actions do you do that bring good effects to your family and to your social networks?
What important roles do you play at work or in other organizations?
What do you tend to be praised for, asked for, etc.?
What activities make the most difference to your coworkers?
How do your personality strengths make a difference for others?

Now choose your top five Value-Adds from your list. Choose the ones that either you really enjoy doing and/or add the most value to others. Don’t overanalyze or take too much time. Listen to your heart here. If it’s both that’s the best, but sometimes you have a mix. Then rank these in order to give you a crystal-clear sense of what your top priorities are.

Prioritizing them like this also gives you clarity about which parts of your DNA are your BEST DNA. When you do, it will give you a laser focus and make it easier to make choices that make you more fulfilled and successful! You can spend more time doing the things that matter most, and do them well.

Next month we will continue with Best BNA as we explore and discover your Principles. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your Value Add discoveries. Simply comment below. And connect with me on social media to get more great tips and ideas.

Visit BestDNA.com if you’d like to be guided through discovering your Best DNA and how you can live more into the best of who you are. If you use the coupon code “valueadd” you can do it for 50% off by the end of May.

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Enjoy Vacations more with “FABLES”

April 9, 2016 · by Bob Faw

Savoring the memory of a vacation can be as good as the vacation itself, sometimes better. There is a fascinating article describing how even anticipating a vacation can give one joy.

I met a wise young man recently that created a delightful, and (I think) scientifically sound method for helping people enjoyably savor their vacations even better–while still on them. I begged him to let me share his creation.

fables

This graphic was created by Greg Sullivan of Sullivan Gang Graphics.

Sullivan Gang Graphics

115 S Handley St Wichita, KS 67213

Phone: 316-262-6242

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