Browsing Category Motivation

Brilliant Athletic Motivation!

January 30, 2018 · by Bob Faw

In every area of life positive priming is very helpful. It is particularly powerful in sports.

I’m a lucky person, in that there are many times in my work where I feel deeply fulfilled by people doing great things with tools I teach them… I was training in DC recently, when Lou came up to tell me a story of how he’d used positive priming since a previous course he’d taken with me. It was brilliantly done! Here is his story…

“My daughter Emily is a competitive figure skater. She’s very talented technically. Yet the area she struggles with is “musicality”–emotionally expressing the music and her passion during her performances. She was getting really down from getting this feedback from coaches and others. They’d tell her, “Express! Show emotion!”. But like most people, this is not an easy thing for her to do on command. She was even beginning to lose some of her enthusiasm for the sport!
I thought about the positive priming I learned from you and suggested to Emily that she create an imaginary story that goes along with the moves and the music to her next performance. She was inspired! She created a story in which exciting things happened during exciting music, and sad things happened during sad music, etc. She even created an imaginary cat friend (coincidentally) named Bob to make it more emotionally engaging. When skating, now she’d play her story (“inner movie“) in her head as she skated and she then expressed the right emotions and energy authentically and in great timing.
She got great feedback from her coach, and really enjoys competing again! Oh, and Emily won a medal at the next competition she was in!”

Well, dear reader, where can you use positive priming to ignite your passion and performance?

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Misery Loves Company, But Company Doesn’t Love Misery

January 26, 2017 · by Bob Faw

Live Your Life On Purpose This Year

Many of us are already pages deep in never-to-be-fulfilled New Year’s resolutions—listing off myriad ways to improve ourselves in a variety of areas. My suggestion this year is to set just one goal for yourself. It is a simple yet important resolution that will make life much better. It can make your more fulfilled, and make you more interesting to be around too.

Let 2017 be the year that you let your Purpose guide you.

Positive Psychology has shown the value in having a purpose-driven life. Purpose is one of our major intrinsic motivators. According to Daniel Pink in his book Drive, it’s these three motivators—Purpose, Autonomy, and Mastery—that enable people to feel passionate about their lives, going above and beyond regularly.

To uncover your purpose, consider what fulfills you. What drives you to do good in the world? Then reflect on how you spend your time: What is the purpose of your organization? What is the purpose of your team? Then line these things up.

It’s OK if you can’t line them up perfectly. Not everyone can start a non-profit. Good thing there are countless ways to fulfill your purpose. The world needs people whose purpose is fulfilled through creating all kinds of goods, services and entertainment. And if you can increase the amount you live your purpose by just 5%, your life will be more meaningful!

One of the things I find purpose in is helping people with the way they look at the world and the way they view themselves. Thankfully, I get to live my purpose as a career. But I also spend extra time doing things that I’m not compensated for, such as writing, creating videos, and mentoring young people.

Recently I met a young man on the subway. Here was this tall, good-looking guy who at first glance looked privileged. But upon further examination, he was missing his shoelaces and pretty scattered. He didn’t have enough money for the train, so I bought him a ticket and asked him what was going on. As I learned more about his story, I discovered that this young man had had an abusive childhood that had led to arrests and a general distrust of authority. I could empathize. I told him that I had experienced a lot of violence as a child as well. I had once felt the way he felt, but that I had changed my thinking through the support of mentors, and that today I was an author, speaker and trainer. He asked the name of my book, and seemed to be energized by our conversation and the possibilities. I noticed that others on the train who were eavesdropping on our conversation seemed to be energized as well, as some were smiling at me as I got off the train.

Because I connect with people relatively easily, my wife and friends like to ask me who I befriended that day or what my stories were. When you live a purpose-driven life, it makes for great stories!

People get tired of hearing others vent about their job and about things they don’t like about their lives. Misery does love company, but company doesn’t like misery. If you want to be an inspiration to people talk more about your passion and your purpose. It’s not just the big things that you do; it’s all the little things you do that create a purpose-driven life.

Here are a couple ideas for finding your Purpose:

Complete the Best DNA instrument (for free!). It’s a great way to quickly clarify your passions and your purpose into a practical motto. If you’ve got 90 minutes and want life to be better, use this coupon code “CompanyDoesn’tLikeMisery” by the end of February.

Or Track it. Set a daily reminder to write down, “What did I get pleasantly lost in today?” Essentially that activity that you enjoyed doing, during which time didn’t matter, and afterwards you could have spent more time doing it. It could be tackling an interesting problem at your job or helping somebody with an issue. Or maybe working on some cool form of creative expression.

Note these activities for a couple of weeks, and then look for commonalities and discuss them with a friend. Many people are surprised at the things that come up again and again. The best ways to find out how to make life better are usually by looking at what is good already.

As a bonus, there is brain science showing that when you make a habit of looking for the things that are fulfilling in your life, you will not only find them you but you will also savor them!

And for more on savoring, check out this Highlights activity!

So, do you want more fun and self-esteem in your life? Live life on purpose!

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Get High With Daily Highlights

May 18, 2016 · by Bob Faw

This tool is life-changing!

Make yourself and your family more resilient against depression, anxiety and the challenges of life.

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Enjoy Vacations more with “FABLES”

April 9, 2016 · by Bob Faw

Savoring the memory of a vacation can be as good as the vacation itself, sometimes better. There is a fascinating article describing how even anticipating a vacation can give one joy.

I met a wise young man recently that created a delightful, and (I think) scientifically sound method for helping people enjoyably savor their vacations even better–while still on them. I begged him to let me share his creation.

fables

This graphic was created by Greg Sullivan of Sullivan Gang Graphics.

Sullivan Gang Graphics

115 S Handley St Wichita, KS 67213

Phone: 316-262-6242

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Don’t Be That Jerk at Work – Inspire Positively

September 17, 2015 · by Bob Faw

Priming for Human Resource Pros

As in many jobs, you in HR have the huge challenge of influencing people without being able to simply tell them what to do. Because you are usually not the direct manager of the people you are working with, you will often find yourself in a situation where you have to manage up—you have to convince people above you in the organization about how decisions are going to affect employees.

Another unique challenge for you HR pros is finding the balance between helping people fulfill their potential and holding them accountable. And if all of this weren’t challenging enough, you also have to help guide change you didn’t initiate. Whew!

Many of these situations apply to other managers as well, but you HR pros have some very interesting challenges when it comes to managing the dynamics of people.

In my book, Energize, I talk about the three characters in your mind that are necessary for motivation. You HR pros have to be good at doing all three:

Calming the Cavemen

On a daily basis, you are going to have someone (or a group of someones) in your office who need calming. Since the cavemen part of our brains—the survival instinct—is always looking for threats, this can result in rigidity, irrationality and overreaction. When you encounter employees with an overactive caveman response, you must help them calm their fears, straighten out misconceptions, come up with solutions to their challenges, or simply find a positive attitude if they are angry. HR pros need to be able to empathize as part of calming people down.

Convincing the Thinker

The thinker is the part of the brain that is able to think clearly, consider the future, and process complex ideas. As an HR pro, you need to be able to help convince the thinker when it comes to your colleagues. To do this when managing up, make sure you have facts to back up your suggestions. Talking about how to positively affect the bottom line will make managers more open to your ideas. When it comes to motivating employees around change or resolving issues, you can use tools such as listing long-term benefits for achieving a challenge and brainstorming multiple plans and consequences. If employees feel like they are part of a solution, they are more apt to participate in it.

Energizing the Artist

Being able to activate the artist in others is a powerful motivational skill. The artist fuels our passion for things we feel deeply about. When you’re guiding change, it’s especially beneficial to help people tap into their artists. You can do this by identifying how the change applies to their passions and values, as well as highlighting the benefits of the change for their jobs and duties.

One of the key things to remember when guiding or influencing change is that motivating people around the change is critical. When we are overworked and life is hectic, it can be easy to treat change like a transaction, and simply tell people that they must do it. That occasionally works with some people, but usually backfires if employees don’t understand the need for the change and aren’t emotionally invested in it.

Being in HR is in some ways like being a parent. A big portion of your job is trying to influence. (But one hint here: Don’t ever think of your employees as children, even though they may act like it from time to time!)

If you’d like to chat more about HR challenges, I would love to help. And check out these additional blog posts to watch fun videos on how to Calm the Caveman, Convince the Thinker and Energize the Artist.

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The Amazing Kreskin: Positive Thinking … Makes You Resourceful

September 1, 2015 · by Bob Faw

The Amazing Kreskin clarifies on Big Think that positive thinking isn’t magical. However, by staying focused on the goal and positively looking for ways to get there, you become more resourceful.

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Bowl a Strike – The secrets to learning a new skill quickly and confidently

July 29, 2015 · by Bob Faw

A number of motivational psychologists have asked the same question: “Which gives better results: focusing on positives or negatives?” (Another questions they ask is “Why do people enjoy bowling?” – just kidding.)

Four researchers at the University of Wisconsin decided to find out (about focus that is). They used one of America’s most popular adult sports, bowling, to do the research. The experiment involved monitoring the scores of low-skilled bowlers in four leagues over a few months, and two leagues showed something startling. One league had been asked to track only what they did right and focus on doing those things more; another league had been asked to track only the mistakes and focus on avoiding those errors in the future. While both teams improved, the team tracking what they did right had 100 percent greater improvement than the team that was tracking its mistakes!

The researchers go on to say that when people are new at skills lots of positive feedback and ideas are the most helpful. Once someone has mastered a skill set a higher ratio of negative feedback is more helpful for improvement. In other words, keep newbies focused on how to do the skill. Distracting with too much negative takes them off course and can diminish important confidence-building.

The bottom-line is that focusing on both positives and negative are important. Both prime people. But prime well, so that they are clear about what how to do the skill well, and they motivated to keep improving. This calms the caveman and energizes the artist.

Whoop it up! Celebrate the positives. At first, only point out negatives that will make a big deal if not fixed. Then quickly get back to what is working, and what is best to do next.

Go bowl nonstop strikes!

Research Note: Kirschenbaum, D. S., A. M. Ordman, A. J. Tomarken, and R. Holtzbauer.

“Effects of Differential Self-monitoring and Level of Mastery on Sports Performance: Brain Power Bowling.” Cognitive Therapy and Research 6, no. 3 (1982): 335–42.

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Who Wins When Employees Compete Against Each Other?

July 7, 2015 · by Bob Faw

With your colleagues aim for a win-win solution. Find a way to a common goal that benefits you all.

Or at least aim for “coopetiion“. Blend cooperation to help others succeed with enough competition to help you feel that rush of accomplishment.

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The Color of the Dress? Mind-blowing & Mind-creating: Our brains construct color!

February 28, 2015 · by Bob Faw

Jason Silva from “Brain Games” eloquently describes how our “Inner movies” (my term) work by describing color.

What part of reality do you choose to look at the most?

What you focus on, not only changes the color of the dress, but also your mood.

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Be Wise: Balance Optimism with Critical Thinking

February 24, 2015 · by Bob Faw

“Hope without critical thinking leads to naïveté and critical thinking without hope leads to cynicism. To survive, we need both.” Maria Popova

“if you combine those two mental qualities [you achieve] wisdom… The absence of both gets you apathy.” Coert’s Visser

These wise insights capture beautifully what I often teach. What gives us the most power and insight is the right blend of optimism while facing the hard truths as well.

The research by Barbara Fredrickson on the ideal balance of positive to negative communication also supports this. There are no easy answers or beliefs that we can use to make all decisions. We need to take each situation face the hard truth of that situation, then switch a solution focus for ideas. The right balance makes us far better decision makers (and more credible as well).

Popova profoundly states, “Yes, people sometimes do horrible things, and we can speculate about why they do them until we run out of words and sanity. But evil only prevails when we mistake it for the norm. There is so much goodness in the world — all we have to do is remind one another of it, show up for it, and refuse to leave.”

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