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Welcome to Bob Faw’s Energize Performance blog. Bob’s passion is to guide positive transformation. Through his personal and professional life experiences Bob developed a keen interest in pragmatic and science based approaches. He has been a longtime advocate of focusing on solutions and learning while having fun, concepts that are increasingly supported by recent neuroscience studies about enhanced brain functioning and performance. This blog is to gather and share his guidance and share best practices, inspirational examples, and creative ideas of others about positive transformation at work, in personal life, and in the world.

The Power of Positive Priming … And Cat Videos

February 28, 2015 · by Bob Faw

Welcome to the first article in the Positive Priming Series. I’m extremely passionate about the tool of priming because I’ve seen its effects repeatedly–with both myself and my clients–and it’s a concept that I use often. This will be the first in a series of articles designed to help you learn the power of priming, as well as some helpful tools for priming yourself and others.

So what exactly is priming?

Priming is a term used by scientists to talk about the fact that every decision we make is unconsciously influenced by what we have previously experienced. I use “positive priming” similarly to the way positive psychologists use “kindness priming.”

Multiple studies have been done during which researchers primed participants with positive or negative words or images and then tested their tendency for optimism. For example, during one study, half the participants watched negative news and the other half watched light-hearted cat videos. It’s probably not surprising that the group that watched the negative news had more negative responses to the questions they were asked afterward. Believe it or not, cat videos can make you more optimistic. Now you can tell your boss that you need to watch them at work to improve performance.

Think about the last time you read or watched some really awful news. Or the last time you received a scathing review at work. Did that exposure affect your mood afterward?

There has even been research done with sports teams showing that those who have won are more likely to win the next game, and when a team has lost they are more likely to lose. So when talk about “losing streaks,” there really is such a thing.

It’s remarkable how deeply certain stimulation can affect how we act.

I use positive priming in my teaching and speaking all the time. When I’m addressing a group, my ultimate goal is to move hearts and minds to action. So I try to open with a story or a statement that will prime them for success.

I often start with this quick experiment (feel free to try it yourself right now): “I want you to take a moment think about a time or event in your life when you felt very smart or accomplished. Think deeply about what you liked about that moment and what you had learned to get there. Reflect on those positive feelings and how satisfying it felt to learn something new.”

What you’ve just done is prime yourself positively around learning, so now you are more ready to absorb new information, and chances are that you’ll do it better because of the positivity you’ve created around it.

In our next post, we’ll talk about in more detail about how to use these techniques to prime yourself, and the power that can have. The fact is, if you want to be a highly influential person, positive priming starts from within, so learning how to energize yourself using positive priming is a valuable tool for being a great influencer.

If you have any questions about priming, or feedback on this post, I’d love to hear from you.

In the meantime, check out the following videos if you’d like to learn more.

Get Creative with a Positive Focus

Focus Can Change Ho-hum to Fulfilling

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Getting Creative with Creative Conflict

January 30, 2015 · by Bob Faw

Welcome to the fourth blog post in the Conflict Management series. So far we’ve talked about Prevention, Resolution, and Redirection. This month we’re exploring the ways to direct conflict using Creative Conflict.

Getting Creative

Many of the greatest discoveries in history have happened at the periphery of industries where multiple perspectives come together more easily. Much of the creativity comes from smashing current paradigms, and radical experimentation. Simply put, conflict is necessary for creativity.

One of the tools I use with my clients is called Energize Brainstorming. From a distance it looks much like a standard brainstorming session, but certain differences energize it to a whole new level. Really effective brainstorming is actually “creative conflict.”

The process starts with a very clear goal, ideally with criteria for success and limits that they can’t exceed. Getting people thinking about a common objective is paramount. The second step is to have each member of the team complete solo “brainwriting” sessions-essentially like brainstorming, but writing out all one’s own ideas surrounding the topic. This allows for each team member to generate ideas freely, without influence from others. And what naturally happens is that the individual ideas have some “creative conflict” when the group comes back together and combines viewpoints.

During the group brainstorming stage there is no negativity allowed. The group is instructed to purposefully use “yes and” to build upon the ideas that everyone is bringing to the table. We tell the group that if there’s an idea they don’t like, they should instead write a totally different idea and add it to the board. We want concepts that are totally different from one another, as well as build on each other. After the brainstorming session is over, then members can voice their opinions on the top ideas that have been selected, but they shouldn’t say they don’t like an idea during the brainstorm.

This creates a positive environment where team members feel free to toss out every idea, even those they feel are weak, in the hope that someone else on the team may be able to strengthen or build upon that idea.

During this process, I tell clients to remember that they’re not conflicting with people, they’re conflicting with ideas, which builds creativity.

And depending on the situation, we take it even further. We do an exercise where I tell them to imagine that they’ve already created their goal and to brainstorm 12 new and different ideas to utilize it. This portion is about getting really creative and challenging the status quo in any way we can.

I was recently leading a Leadership University, and a mentor in the program named Sualeh Fatehi suggested another great idea: Explain a plan to your team and then brainstorm everything that could go wrong with the plan when it is put into action. After that, take the top two or three problems and come up with solutions to those issues. I thought that was a genius way to leverage creative conflict to strengthen a plan.

Hopefully these suggestions have given you some new ways to approach the next challenge you face with your team. As always, I’m happy to chat about any of these ideas. Connect with me on social media or shoot me an email to start a conversation.

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Conflict Management Series: Redirection Using “Yes, and …”

December 17, 2014 · by Bob Faw

Welcome to the third piece in the Conflict Management series. We’ve addressed the methods and benefits of Prevention and Resolution, and this month we’re talking about managing conflict using Redirection.

Redirection Using “Yes, and …”

Typically, when someone comes at you in a conflict situation, your brain immediately goes into fight, flight or freeze mode: You may attack back, blame somebody else to deflect the conflict, or completely avoid the person and the situation. While these are all very natural and understandable reactions, none of them are helpful unless there is a life-threatening issue.

Some conflicts simply need to be distracted from, and often finding common ground with the other party is the way to do it. This is where I teach the “Yes, and …” tactic to my clients. It’s actually very simple. When a conflict arises, look for where you can agree with the person, and start from this common place to move toward a resolution. You will get a lot further when you start with a “yes” than when you start with a “no.” And the other person is much more likely to follow you in a positive direction than in a negative one.

I was once giving a presentation at the Federal Aviation Administration on this exact topic. As I was talking about the brain psychology behind conflict, a disgruntled man in the audience spoke. He started by declaring that he was a doctor, and that I was wrong. And unfortunately, his point had nothing to do with what I was talking about. I had to do some slow, deep breathing to prevent myself from going into fight mode. He continued to rant angrily, going farther and farther off topic. I saw several audience members rolling their eyes, and I knew I had to get things back on track.

After I calmed myself, I listened for something I could agree with. Once I found it, I said, “You’re absolutely right about that, and let me talk about how it applies to this topic.” I could have debated his ideas or even cut him down, but instead I got my presentation back on track by finding one thing to agree with. Afterward, I had audience members come up to me and ask, “How did you do that? That guys ruins every workshop he goes to!”

It was the power of “Yes, and …”!

You’ve probably found yourself in a similar situation. It’s usually a gut reaction to tell people what not to do, or what is wrong with their thinking. If you don’t take it personally, you can usually redirect and find common ground using a “yes, and …” response.

Once you realize that you don’t have to resolve every little difference, you’ll find that many times simply agreeing to something and redirecting can help. Once you’ve mastered this tool, you’ll find it useful in most situations, not just at work. You can use it during a challenge with a store clerk, your children, your spouse, even your in-laws. (It should come in handy during the holiday season!) As you master this skill you can smoothly step out of a vast majority of the conflicts to which you’re invited.

To read more about the concept of “Yes, and …” check out this blog post:

Improvisational Leadership—The “Yes, and” Approach

If you have an example to share, or just want some advice on creating a “Yes, and …” response to a conflict you’re experiencing, either share it here, on Facebook, or email me directly. I’d love to help.

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Conflict Management Series: Starting with a Common Goal

December 1, 2014 · by Bob Faw

We’re in the second month of our Conflict Management Series. Last month we addressed Prevention. This month, we’re exploring Resolution.

Often times, people think that an effective way to resolve conflict is to put everything on the table and then try to solve the issue from there. In fact, this is the way I was trained many years ago to facilitate conflict resolution. On rare occasions this is the best option. But today we’re finding that there are even more effective ways. In fact, the “everything on the table” solution often just exacerbates the issue. Usually by the time people have finished unloading their grievances, everyone at the table is much more aggravated about the situation than when they started. After hearing certain opinions, those in the group may only be able to focus on the negative comments that were just aired and not on the task at hand.

One useful technique I use with to help clients resolve conflict is helping the parties come together to understand what their common goal is, and working from there. It is much more conducive to start from a place of positivity—the light at the end of the tunnel, a goal that everyone can rally around—and then help the group determine the best path to reach it.

Once the common goal is established, I ask my clients, “What are you already doing to work toward the goal?” This often builds more confidence, and calms people down. Then I ask, “What else must happen in order to reach it? What can you do differently to get there?” This is where the problems are addressed more directly, but still far more positively than just blasting each other.

These questions help people think more rationally instead of being in fight or flight mode. They are thinking of solutions, and hopefully resolving negative issues and feelings in their drive to work together.

During one of the first conflict management interventions I was asked to do, the engineer who ran the 50-person department was a classic introvert who had not built strong relationships with his employees. He would walk down the hall and not meet anyone’s eye; he would often give terse responses; and he would hold quick meetings and look at his laptop the entire time. All of these actions were indicative of his anxiety, shyness and preoccupation with department issues, but they were being interpreted as the manager being aloof, angry and generally a bad communicator. His department was up in arms and, as a result, was inefficient and not performing to its ability.

I helped him establish the goal for his group: to transform into a high-functioning department. We determined that in order for this to happen, the department needed heroic leadership, meaning that he as a leader would have to lead from the front. He would have to say, “This is the change I’m personally making in order to move toward the goal. I’m going to have one-on-one meetings with everybody and get to know you all. Now what do you need to do to help reach the goal as well?”

It takes guts to be the first to identify and implement change. The truth is that he was heroic; it’s terrifying to be that vulnerable, but he did it and saw results.

By giving everyone an opportunity to talk about the one change they will make (versus the one change you want them to make), people can take ownership and the result will be a high-energy session that leaves your team invigorated. If you give people a positive way to get to a better solution, the results will be more positive as well.

I encourage you to start with the goal the next time you’re in a conflict situation—small or large, at work or at home—and see how that situation immediately changes.

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Mindfulness: Think and Feel Better

September 7, 2014 · by Bob Faw

Would you like to be calmer in the face of work and family stress?

Would you like to be more content with life as it is, and less affected by the imaginary dangers that play in your mind?

Would you like to make better, more rational decisions?

I’m going to give some of my thoughts, and those of Sam Harris, a renowned philosopher and neuroscientist.

Increasing mindfulness does all three of these things. Mindfulness is being able to calmly face the exaggerated threats our mind creates without fighting, fleeing or freezing. That means to not have to suppress our unwanted urges, run from our own emotions, or deny our own thoughts and feelings. Instead, noticing our thoughts and feelings with equanimity, allowing these urges to “float” by instead of choosing to react to them. Then choosing the “right” action toward what is best for oneself, instead of merely away from momentary discomfort and toward comfort.

I created the ACT Team to give people an easy step in this direction. These represent aspects of our brain that embody certain fearful urges and motivations. Seeing them as somewhat separate allows us some mental distance, and increases the ability to choose “right” action instead of simply react to their promptings. This also allows us to see ourselves as more than our thoughts, our feelings and our urges. In addition, it allows us to influence our own motivations a bit more objectively, instead of be a victim to them.

The fearful urges and motivations we feel in a given moment distort our sense of what is real, creating reactionary “inner movies.” Inner movies are our brain’s guess of what is real combined with our biases, fears and hopes. It plays them out in our minds like a visual, auditory or sensed movie. Most of the time we’re caught up in the inner movies of life, not realizing that they are simply movies, not reality. Mindfulness is being able to look past the movie to see what is really there, with less bias from our fears, hopes and biases. This is what I argue that “enlightenment” truly is—seeing reality more clearly. More mental light is now shining on what is actually happening, and less on the internal distortions. For example, we may have an inner movie that our child is “shaming the family” by choosing career we dislike, when the reality is that she is usually simply being attracted to what she finds interesting and enjoyable. You can see how much unnecessary conflict this kind of inner movie causes for ourselves, and for those around us.

Sam Harris explains mindfulness well in his book “Waking Up”.

He states:

My friend Joseph Goldstein…likens this shift in awareness to the experience of being fully immersed in a film and then suddenly realizing that you are sitting in a theater watching a mere play of light on a wall. Your perception is unchanged, but the spell is broken. Most of us spend every waking moment lost in the movie of our lives. Until we see that an alternative to this enchantment exists, we are entirely at the mercy of appearances…

We crave lasting happiness in the midst of change: Our bodies age, cherished objects break, pleasures fade, relationships fail. Our attachment to the good things in life and our aversion to the bad amount to a denial of these realities, and this inevitably leads to feelings of dissatisfaction. Mindfulness is a technique for achieving equanimity amid the flux, allowing us to simply be aware of the quality of experience in each moment, whether pleasant or unpleasant. This may seem like a recipe for apathy, but it needn’t be. It is actually possible to be mindful—and, therefore, to be at peace with the present moment—even while working to change the world for the better.

(Sam Harris teaches how to achieve mindfulness through various exercises in “Waking Up”. He has audio guides to this kind of mediation on his website. He manages to extract the powerful insights of Buddhist meditation from the mythology, so that it’s relevant to everyone regardless of your beliefs.)

Happiness. Bliss. Serenity. Mental Health. There are many worthwhile goals of mindfulness meditation. A very small segment of people find sitting for days, weeks, months or even years at a time appealing. The goal for most of us though, as Harris describes it, is increasing happiness. Not reaching some magical state of nirvana, enlightenment, etc.

What is the next step you will take to becoming more mindful?

To make better decisions?

To be more content with life as it is, and less affected by the imaginary dangers of your inner movie?

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Get unstuck with Power Reframes

June 28, 2014 · by Bob Faw

Craft Power Reframes to help those mired in conflict shift their brain chemistry to become more flexible and creative. I even use them to motivate myself.

Warning: Use Power Reframes with integrity. Done well, you become respected and influential. Done deviously you’ll look like a sleazy used car salesman.

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USA Today Article: Creating and Rescuing Culture

June 28, 2014 · by Bob Faw

Christopher Elliott interviews Bob Faw about culture

See the USA Today article with the brief quote from Bob.

Below is the full interview.

CE: Is JetBlue abandoning the values that made it great, in the minds of consumers, or simply adjusting to the needs of the marketplace?

BF: I think that JetBlue has slipped a bit from its original values, but the company can still regain its best DNA through a combination of diligent effort and thoughtful changes. Sometimes a company does have to change certain practices simply to continue to be viable. JetBlue has made some changes well, such as its ticket change fee, which was reasonable. The key is to avoid the lure of quarterly earning goals trap. The company needs to continuously nurture its culture, and make decisions based upon the long-term ability to stay true to its best DNA.

CE: What is JetBlue’s corporate DNA? Has it changed at all, in your opinion, or is it the same company, only bigger?

BF: JetBlue’s CCO Robin Hayes says this about its DNA: “We focus our professional energies on creating a great JetBlue Experience for our customers, and a big part of that is in creating a brand and environment that is welcoming. The true honorees are the 12,000 JetBlue crewmembers who bring our brand to life every day, every flight.”

Based on this, JetBlue is focused on creating a welcoming dynamic as a key part of its DNA. The challenge becomes maintaining an authentically welcome environment even under circumstances that are less than ideal. Providing a consistently perfect customer experience is beyond even the best companies like Nordstrom and Disney. However, JetBlue’s customer experience must be consistently high enough to make its brand inviting.

Pleasing the FAA, TSA, fearful flyers, and the customer can be a huge challenge. This was demonstrated during a recent kerfuffle that ended with a 3-year-old urinating in her seat, and her mother almost kicked off the plane for cleaning the seat. No matter their size, it’s fair to say that all airlines want their employees to gracefully handle challenges like this, but especially a company that values a welcome customer experience.

CE: Can you think of a travel company that has stayed true to its original mission?

BF: Southwest Airlines has come the closest to staying true to its original mission. It not only offers low-cost flights, but it also has a customer-friendly policy for changing flights and free baggage check. And by keeping its seating process mostly egalitarian, the company has been able to maintain its DNA. These conveniences and perceived value stand out compared to most airlines that are adding more and more fees.

CE: How can travelers tell if a company has “good” corporate DNA?

BF: Companies that treat their people well usually have better customer service. Many companies have issues that hit the news from time to time. You can tell a lot about a company’s DNA by how quickly, gracefully, and authentically they apologize and fix problems.

You can also discover plenty about a company’s customer experience simply by visiting user-review sites. That’s the beauty of the social media experience—a company’s best DNA is on display and regularly tested, which causes companies with good DNA to constantly evaluate how their values are being reinforced throughout the company.

CE: Is there anything a large corporation can do to return to its original mission, or are changes inevitable?

BF: Depending on how far a company has strayed, it is possible, but often not easy, to return to a company’s original best DNA. That is, if top management is still aligned with the original DNA.

Starbucks has been a great example of this. When Howard Schultz retook the helm in 2008 and redirected the company back to his original vision—a focus on coffee and the customer experience—it was a massive undertaking. But obviously it worked.

JetBlue and other airlines could improve the customer experience by developing “caregiver” employees through training that enables them to clearly understand what the laws require, but also to know how to give the warmest, most welcoming service that those laws allow. Employees can adopt a “yes and” mindset. This means that they either find some way to give passengers the care they ask for, or empathetically guide them to the care they are allowed to give.

For example, in the incident with the little girl, the attendant could have apologized profusely, explained that the FAA doesn’t allow people to stand up while the plane is awaiting take off, and provided a plastic bag to put under the toddler, or helped clean up the mess herself. Also, rather than seeing the mother as “noncompliant” could she have empathized with her and promised to help as soon as they were at cruising altitude. The key here is giving the warmth and service that is possible, rather than simply saying “no.”

Employees need to be given a fair bit of leeway, and to be held accountable, to achieve a high level of service. This culture of service needs to be continuously nurtured as Zappos so famously does, with plenty of training, employee perks, and most of all by treating employees the way the company wants its customers treated.

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Top 10 Epic Advice — for graduates, and all of us

May 26, 2014 · by Bob Faw

I’m honored to be a “successful person” asked to give my top 10 pieces of advice for a new book just out.

Here’s what I wrote, followed by how to learn more about the book.

Write life goals: You can change them at any time, but it’s motivating to have goals that energize you to work hard. Specific goals such as “become an architect,” and vague goals such as “I want to travel a lot,” help focus your decisions. (Unless your goals hurt others.)
Nurture your close relationships: Strong family times and friendships will help you weather the tough times and enjoy the good ones. Nurture the most important relationships like you would a fl ower garden. (Unless these folks hold you back, in which case, do some weeding.)
Competing can derail you: It’s far more important to find work that helps you enjoy your life than it is to compete against others. It’s possible to make a lot of stupid choices that lead you to a dead end job trying to prove something to someone else. (Unless you’re going for the Olympics.)
Own your success: You, and you alone, are responsible for your successes in life. There are countless people that can help, but waste no time blaming others when you don’t make it. Instead, immediately focus on how to get back on track. (Unless your goal is to successfully play the blame game.)
Ask for help: There are so many resources available to you. Ethically use whatever it takes to help you get where you want to go. Trying to do it alone just takes longer and is less fun in the end. (Unless you truly are superhuman.)
Laugh a lot: Life is short and precious. Enjoy as much as you can. Make sure to laugh multiple times per day. (Unless you’re in court.)
Create good habits: To be excellent at your future profession you’ll need habits of working hard, thinking critically, and adapting to change well. (Unless you’re goal is to be a lifelong participant in sleep studies.)
Be a contributor: One of the greatest sources of last-ing fulfillment is making a positive difference in the world, especially if you’re able to use your strengths to do it. (Unless your strength is plagiarism.)
Channel your passion: Find creative ways to get paid doing things that you truly enjoy doing. There are many jobs out there you’ve never heard of that involve your doing things you like to do, at least part of the time. (Unless it might end up with you in prison.)
Create positive credibility: Only put online what will help you achieve your life goals. Steer clear of the temptations to badmouth people, gripe about petty stuff, and do not engage in extreme behavior. (Unless you want to become an extremist radio host.)

Bob Faw is a positive change consultant, transformational thought leader, and sought after dynamic speaker who motivates people around the world to make positive changes in their lives. Bob lives in New Hampshire with Zsuzsi Gero (his sweetheart) and Nisha (their dog). His passions include hiking, dancing, swim-ming, and learning the latest on brain science.

You can check out the full book at either of these websites (just click the logo).

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Video: Get Your ACT Together

December 19, 2013 · by Bob Faw

Motivating these three aspects of the brain (Artist, Caveman and Thinker) helps us get our ACT together.

For more on the ACT team from “Energize”.

The ACT Team from a teenager’s perspective.

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Focus can change ho-hum to fulfilling

December 9, 2013 · by Bob Faw

All around us is both dreary, dull and irritating things, as well as amazing, exciting and beautiful things. We have to intentionally focus on the amazing, excitement and beauty around us to counteract the Negativity Bias, and challenges of everyday life.

I started a practice around ten years ago of looking for the beauty in as many situations as possible. I’m blown away at how much beauty is actually around me! Free! To be enjoyed just by looking for it. The flowers in my neighbor’s yard, the kindness of an elderly woman helping her ailing husband so gently, the joy children are feeling as they chase soap bubbles, the nuggets of wisdom in someone I once saw as an enemy, and so much more. The quality of my life has improved the more habitually I’ve done this.

For more Positive Psychology tips like this one listen to Shawn Achor. He’s amazing.

Plus ten simple things you can do that will make you happier-backed by science.

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