This tool is life-changing!
Make yourself and your family more resilient against depression, anxiety and the challenges of life.
Browsing Tags change
Creating Optimism – Make your life a work of art, with Jason Silva
Jason Silva is one of the most profound thinkers of our day. To make it even better he is a master video producer (and host of Brain Games) so creates dynamic videos to explain his concepts.
I challenge you to create vital cycles of optimism. Design experiences for yourself that increase your passion, enhance your optimism, and as Silva says, “make your life a work of art”.
Mindfulness: Think and Feel Better
Would you like to be calmer in the face of work and family stress?
Would you like to be more content with life as it is, and less affected by the imaginary dangers that play in your mind?
Would you like to make better, more rational decisions?
I’m going to give some of my thoughts, and those of Sam Harris, a renowned philosopher and neuroscientist.
Increasing mindfulness does all three of these things. Mindfulness is being able to calmly face the exaggerated threats our mind creates without fighting, fleeing or freezing. That means to not have to suppress our unwanted urges, run from our own emotions, or deny our own thoughts and feelings. Instead, noticing our thoughts and feelings with equanimity, allowing these urges to “float” by instead of choosing to react to them. Then choosing the “right” action toward what is best for oneself, instead of merely away from momentary discomfort and toward comfort.
I created the ACT Team to give people an easy step in this direction. These represent aspects of our brain that embody certain fearful urges 
and motivations. Seeing them as somewhat separate allows us some mental distance, and increases the ability to choose “right” action instead of simply react to their promptings. This also allows us to see ourselves as more than our thoughts, our feelings and our urges. In addition, it allows us to influence our own motivations a bit more objectively, instead of be a victim to them.
The fearful urges and motivations we feel in a given moment distort our sense of what is real, creating reactionary “inner movies.” Inner movies are our brain’s guess of what is real combined with our biases, fears and hopes. It plays them out in our minds like a visual, auditory or sensed movie. Most of the time we’re caught up in the inner movies of life, not realizing that they are simply movies, not reality. Mindfulness is being able to look past the movie to see what is really there, with less bias from our fears, hopes and biases. This is what I argue that “enlightenment” truly is—seeing reality more clearly. More mental light is now shining on what is actually happening, and less on the internal distortions. For example, we may have an inner movie that our child is “shaming the family” by choosing career we dislike, when the reality is that she is usually simply being attracted to what she finds interesting and enjoyable. You can see how much unnecessary conflict this kind of inner movie causes for ourselves, and for those around us.
Sam Harris explains mindfulness well in his book “Waking Up”.
He states:
My friend Joseph Goldstein…likens this shift in awareness to the 
experience of being fully immersed in a film and then suddenly realizing that you are sitting in a theater watching a mere play of light on a wall. Your perception is unchanged, but the spell is broken. Most of us spend every waking moment lost in the movie of our lives. Until we see that an alternative to this enchantment exists, we are entirely at the mercy of appearances…
We crave lasting happiness in the midst of change: Our bodies age, cherished objects break, pleasures fade, relationships fail. Our attachment to the good things in life and our aversion to the bad amount to a denial of these realities, and this inevitably leads to feelings of dissatisfaction. Mindfulness is a technique for achieving equanimity amid the flux, allowing us to simply be aware of the quality of experience in each moment, whether pleasant or unpleasant. This may seem like a recipe for apathy, but it needn’t be. It is actually possible to be mindful—and, therefore, to be at peace with the present moment—even while working to change the world for the better.
(Sam Harris teaches how to achieve mindfulness through various exercises in “Waking Up”. He has audio guides to this kind of mediation on his website. He manages to extract the powerful insights of Buddhist meditation from the mythology, so that it’s relevant to everyone regardless of your beliefs.)
Happiness. Bliss. Serenity. Mental Health. There are many worthwhile goals of mindfulness meditation. A very small segment of people find sitting for days, weeks, months or even years at a time appealing. The goal for most of us though, as Harris describes it, is increasing happiness. Not reaching some magical state of nirvana, enlightenment, etc.
What is the next step you will take to becoming more mindful?
To make better decisions?
To be more content with life as it is, and less affected by the imaginary dangers of your inner movie?
Energize is for free this weekend only – Amazon ebook download
I have great news! The Kindle version of my book “Energize: Ignite Passion and Performance with User Friendly Brain Tools” will be FREE this coming Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (April 4, 5, and 6). It’s part of a cool promotion that my publisher Aloha Publishing and Amazon are doing to get Energize into more people’s hands. Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl
Will you help me get the word out? I would love it if you would share this and help promote my social media posts this week about this free promo. Here’s a sample of some things you can share with your social media followers, if you’re so inclined:
“My friend, @BobFaw, is the author of “Energize,” which will be FREE this weekend only. Head over to http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl to get your free download.”
“Looking to make positive change in your life and business? Check out @BobFaw’s book, “Energize,” which is free this weekend at http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl“
Thank you in advance for your help!
Have a great weekend,
Bob
Convince the Thinker – logic can save the day
In addition to calming the Caveman’s fears and energizing the Artist, positive change of any type also requires convincing the Thinker. This part of the brain wants to have a clear vision of how to get to your goals. If there’s too much detail, the Caveman gets bored and confused, but too little detail leaves the Thinker unconvinced. For example, when I had to change the vicious cycles of economic despair into the vital cycles of a great career, I created a few steps that I thought would lead me to my goals. I planned the first step, but I didn’t worry too much about the following steps until I was ready for them. Each person’s Thinker is different and requires a different blend of information. Experiment to find out how much planning is enough to make your Thinker confident, without planning so much that you lose motivation in the process. The Caveman part of our brain starts to rebel when plans get too complex.
Some people need lots of background information and analysis to help convince the Thinker. However, people who have stronger Artist tendencies are happier with a big picture and motivating reasons; and are impatient with too much data. When motivating others, choose your approach based on what they prefer.
There are some things that both the Caveman and the Thinker like. For example, both like it when you are clear about a specific amount to accomplish. This works whether your goal is money, job satisfaction, depth of relationship, or any other goal in life. Both of these parts of the brain also like things that are clearly beneficial to all aspects of your life. For example, when I started doing more public speaking, my Thinker enjoyed the mental stimulation and potential for bringing in more work, my Caveman enjoyed the fun I had working a crowd, and my Artist thrived on the passion I felt talking about positive change.
Moving to Mastery … with the Learning Continuum
Twenty-five hundred years ago, the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wisely stated, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Mastery is the same way. It takes step after step in the right direction. I have my own model, which describes the journey of mastery a little more explicitly. Although we’re going to measure this in hours, ten thousand of them, according to the research shared in Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Outliers: The Story of Success”.
Read books to gain knowledge. Do activities to earn skills. Practice skills successfully in many situations to develop the ability to use them where you want to. Perform these abilities long enough, and they will become habits you can do instinctively. And after ten thousand hours of practice, you will achieve mastery. That’s when it becomes part of your personality.
When I was a teenager, people described me as shy, angry, depressed, and rebellious. Now people describe me as positive, outgoing, confident, and energizing. This transformation came from walking my journey of motivation mastery over the decades. I’ve seen thousands of my clients transform from being quite negative to becoming motivational. I’ve also seen hundreds of the trauma survivors I volunteer with become far more positive about themselves and their lives. You, too, can learn ways you can move yourself further along the continuum than you are today. Once you’re far enough along, create steps that specifically fit you. Part of how I’ve created my steps is borrowing from books, workshops and the masters themselves.
Calming the Caveman’s F Responses
I have fun playing the “caveman”, one of the most primitive aspects of our survival response. I describe the “Caveman” (or Cavewoman, if you prefer) and its responses to stress.
… then there are goofy outtakes
FYI, The “F Responses”–Fight, flight and freeze are technically part of the limbic system of the brain. We call it the Caveman to make it easier to remember and deal with.
When You Criticize Someone, You Make It Harder for that Person to Change
Daniel Goleman’s post in Harvard Business Review blog network
Wonderful article illustrating the problems with negative feedback and how it limits motivation and creativity. He also talks about some fantastic brain research showing the positive advantages of talking about positive future states.
Video: Get Your ACT Together
Motivating these three aspects of the brain (Artist, Caveman and Thinker) helps us get our ACT together.
For more on the ACT team from “Energize”.
The ACT Team from a teenager’s perspective.
Focus can change ho-hum to fulfilling
All around us is both dreary, dull and irritating things, as well as amazing, exciting and beautiful things. We have to intentionally focus on the amazing, excitement and beauty around us to counteract the Negativity Bias, and challenges of everyday life.
I started a practice around ten years ago of looking for the beauty in as many situations as possible. I’m blown away at how much beauty is actually around me! Free! To be enjoyed just by looking for it. The flowers in my neighbor’s yard, the kindness of an elderly woman helping her ailing husband so gently, the joy children are feeling as they chase soap bubbles, the nuggets of wisdom in someone I once saw as an enemy, and so much more. The quality of my life has improved the more habitually I’ve done this.
For more Positive Psychology tips like this one listen to Shawn Achor. He’s amazing.
Plus ten simple things you can do that will make you happier-backed by science.