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Prepare for Success – Don’t get Expertitis
Our brains do some weird things when we are successful. It can pay to prepare for it. Especially, because we can get what I call “expertitis.”
I have a confession to make. After getting some really rough feedback about ten years ago I realized that I had come down with a bad case of expertitis. I had become successful as a change agent, and at helping people transform. This success unfortunately went to my head (which swelled a few sizes). I began to lecture people who had no interest in my advice. I was showing the first two symptoms below. No surprise, my success rate (and popularity) began to decline.
Symptoms: Expertitis is that dreaded egotistical state that shows itself in one or more of the following behaviors:
- Knowledge bias: (pompous chest puffing-up) “I’m an expert in one area which of course means that I’m an expert in a bunch of areas.”
- Teacher bias: (unwanted professorial air) “Of course you want my advice! Let me tell you how to do it right“
- Specialist jargon: (speaking in terms no average person can understand – see the urban dictionary for more.)
- Narcissistic bias: (with nose up in the air) “I’m so smart that I deserve better treatment than others.”
My solutions to priming by brain to be more realistic and helpful were simple, if not easy.
- First, I posted above my desk the following quote. “Focus on learning, not knowing”.
- Then, I made sure with every program that my goal was to “Add as much value as possible, rather than show my expertise.”
I’d love to hear what you do to balance yourself and prevent expertitis.
Also, I love learning about other brain geeks that use research to help us all learn how to work and live better.
I’ve followed Dr. Srini Pillay for a while. Here are his great suggestions for counteracting expertitis in the Harvard Business Review blog. The Unexpected Consequences of Success
Creating Optimism – Make your life a work of art, with Jason Silva
Jason Silva is one of the most profound thinkers of our day. To make it even better he is a master video producer (and host of Brain Games) so creates dynamic videos to explain his concepts.
I challenge you to create vital cycles of optimism. Design experiences for yourself that increase your passion, enhance your optimism, and as Silva says, “make your life a work of art”.
Mindfulness: Think and Feel Better
Would you like to be calmer in the face of work and family stress?
Would you like to be more content with life as it is, and less affected by the imaginary dangers that play in your mind?
Would you like to make better, more rational decisions?
I’m going to give some of my thoughts, and those of Sam Harris, a renowned philosopher and neuroscientist.
Increasing mindfulness does all three of these things. Mindfulness is being able to calmly face the exaggerated threats our mind creates without fighting, fleeing or freezing. That means to not have to suppress our unwanted urges, run from our own emotions, or deny our own thoughts and feelings. Instead, noticing our thoughts and feelings with equanimity, allowing these urges to “float” by instead of choosing to react to them. Then choosing the “right” action toward what is best for oneself, instead of merely away from momentary discomfort and toward comfort.
I created the ACT Team to give people an easy step in this direction. These represent aspects of our brain that embody certain fearful urges 
and motivations. Seeing them as somewhat separate allows us some mental distance, and increases the ability to choose “right” action instead of simply react to their promptings. This also allows us to see ourselves as more than our thoughts, our feelings and our urges. In addition, it allows us to influence our own motivations a bit more objectively, instead of be a victim to them.
The fearful urges and motivations we feel in a given moment distort our sense of what is real, creating reactionary “inner movies.” Inner movies are our brain’s guess of what is real combined with our biases, fears and hopes. It plays them out in our minds like a visual, auditory or sensed movie. Most of the time we’re caught up in the inner movies of life, not realizing that they are simply movies, not reality. Mindfulness is being able to look past the movie to see what is really there, with less bias from our fears, hopes and biases. This is what I argue that “enlightenment” truly is—seeing reality more clearly. More mental light is now shining on what is actually happening, and less on the internal distortions. For example, we may have an inner movie that our child is “shaming the family” by choosing career we dislike, when the reality is that she is usually simply being attracted to what she finds interesting and enjoyable. You can see how much unnecessary conflict this kind of inner movie causes for ourselves, and for those around us.
Sam Harris explains mindfulness well in his book “Waking Up”.
He states:
My friend Joseph Goldstein…likens this shift in awareness to the 
experience of being fully immersed in a film and then suddenly realizing that you are sitting in a theater watching a mere play of light on a wall. Your perception is unchanged, but the spell is broken. Most of us spend every waking moment lost in the movie of our lives. Until we see that an alternative to this enchantment exists, we are entirely at the mercy of appearances…
We crave lasting happiness in the midst of change: Our bodies age, cherished objects break, pleasures fade, relationships fail. Our attachment to the good things in life and our aversion to the bad amount to a denial of these realities, and this inevitably leads to feelings of dissatisfaction. Mindfulness is a technique for achieving equanimity amid the flux, allowing us to simply be aware of the quality of experience in each moment, whether pleasant or unpleasant. This may seem like a recipe for apathy, but it needn’t be. It is actually possible to be mindful—and, therefore, to be at peace with the present moment—even while working to change the world for the better.
(Sam Harris teaches how to achieve mindfulness through various exercises in “Waking Up”. He has audio guides to this kind of mediation on his website. He manages to extract the powerful insights of Buddhist meditation from the mythology, so that it’s relevant to everyone regardless of your beliefs.)
Happiness. Bliss. Serenity. Mental Health. There are many worthwhile goals of mindfulness meditation. A very small segment of people find sitting for days, weeks, months or even years at a time appealing. The goal for most of us though, as Harris describes it, is increasing happiness. Not reaching some magical state of nirvana, enlightenment, etc.
What is the next step you will take to becoming more mindful?
To make better decisions?
To be more content with life as it is, and less affected by the imaginary dangers of your inner movie?
Energize is for free this weekend only – Amazon ebook download
I have great news! The Kindle version of my book “Energize: Ignite Passion and Performance with User Friendly Brain Tools” will be FREE this coming Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (April 4, 5, and 6). It’s part of a cool promotion that my publisher Aloha Publishing and Amazon are doing to get Energize into more people’s hands. Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl
Will you help me get the word out? I would love it if you would share this and help promote my social media posts this week about this free promo. Here’s a sample of some things you can share with your social media followers, if you’re so inclined:
“My friend, @BobFaw, is the author of “Energize,” which will be FREE this weekend only. Head over to http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl to get your free download.”
“Looking to make positive change in your life and business? Check out @BobFaw’s book, “Energize,” which is free this weekend at http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl“
Thank you in advance for your help!
Have a great weekend,
Bob
Moving to Mastery … with the Learning Continuum
Twenty-five hundred years ago, the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wisely stated, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Mastery is the same way. It takes step after step in the right direction. I have my own model, which describes the journey of mastery a little more explicitly. Although we’re going to measure this in hours, ten thousand of them, according to the research shared in Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Outliers: The Story of Success”.
Read books to gain knowledge. Do activities to earn skills. Practice skills successfully in many situations to develop the ability to use them where you want to. Perform these abilities long enough, and they will become habits you can do instinctively. And after ten thousand hours of practice, you will achieve mastery. That’s when it becomes part of your personality.
When I was a teenager, people described me as shy, angry, depressed, and rebellious. Now people describe me as positive, outgoing, confident, and energizing. This transformation came from walking my journey of motivation mastery over the decades. I’ve seen thousands of my clients transform from being quite negative to becoming motivational. I’ve also seen hundreds of the trauma survivors I volunteer with become far more positive about themselves and their lives. You, too, can learn ways you can move yourself further along the continuum than you are today. Once you’re far enough along, create steps that specifically fit you. Part of how I’ve created my steps is borrowing from books, workshops and the masters themselves.
Rebalancing our negativity bias
I explain some of the most helpful research I’ve read, with some tips… followed by a goofy outtake
A happy sense of purpose is good for our genes — who knew?
I love those wonderful discoveries that show how doing what we love is good for us physically.
Click on The New York Times to read this fascinating, and heartening article.
This is particularly exciting for living into what we call our “Best DNA“.
“Energize” from a CEO’s perspective – radio interview
Bob Faw, interviewed on NEDD Radio by Tom Raffio, head of Northeast Delta Dental
Interview about Energize – NEDD Radio
Energize Performance
Positive change on a global scale – Unified we rise
I was very moved by this beautiful video, and the many affiliated videos, for One Billion Rising.
These folks have captured the essence of positive change as I think of it. They are focusing on the beauty, vitality and preciousness of women to inspire all of us to help bring full rights and protection to all women. And they do it through invigorating music, dance, and testimonials.
Even the videos that show heart-rending examples of abuse end with inspiring power and beauty!
Plus, as a male, I feel completely inspired to be part of this movement. This topic is close to my heart anyway, but the way it is approached is completely positive for all except those actively abusing others. Even some of them can hopefully be inspired to change their ways by the beauty and power of billions of people rising as one around the world.
Some of the other OBR videos that really captured my heart.
http://youtu.be/sVxy9oEShPQ (caution, heart-breaking beginning)
http://youtu.be/UXrt6-lAQE4