Sometimes we have to do it, but feedback is tough… even when intentions are good (and we know that they’re not always).
Feedback often triggers “F Responses” (fight, flight or freeze) as we fear judgement, criticism and useless opinions. It can push people away.
Feedback also assumes that we are right about what we’re giving our opinion on. That can be incredibly presumptuous since we rarely know all that went into the decision-making and actions of the person we’re “educating”.
As Marshal Goldsmith talks about in his video, Feedforward is much easier to take, more motivating and helpful.
Ideas to help us succeed in the future are so much more empowering and useful.
Feedforward also tends to get to the point – the goal – much faster.
Next time you want to give feedback to someone, ask yourself, “Am I doing this to help the other person succeed, or for my own needs?”
If this is to help them succeed, then maybe feedforward ideas on how to be more succesful in the future might be a lot more helpful than feedback.
If it’s for your own needs – find another way that doesn’t push people away from you.
